Liveblog: Obama To Make History By Signing Thing Unless Joe Biden Loses It
History is being made! Joe Biden just said so, which is a gaffe. "Today, America becomes a whole lot wealthier," says Joe Biden! "Because they'll be a whole lot healthier." Is that evenconstitutional? What a crowd of insurance executives they've assembled in the White House. "Please have a seat," says Obama, so that's what we will do, as we liveblog this thing.
11:35 AM -- What a boisterous gang of communists!
11:37 AM -- "A host of desperately needed reforms will take place right away."
11:38 AM -- And what's the first of those things? Tax breaks for fat-cat small businessmen!
11:39 AM -- Kids with various horrible pre-existing conditions will get insurance this year.
11:40 AM -- "This year, insurance companies will no longer be able to drop people when they get sick." Fake cheers from this gang of insurance stock-jobbers.
11:42 AM -- Woo-hoo, we're all going back on mom & dad's insurance!
11:42 AM -- And hungry seniors will get $250 for a supply of Donut Holes.
11:43 AM -- Tax cuts for middle class health care! This sounds good, unless you're super poor. Wait, is that what the Teabaggers are so upset about, being poor?
11:44 AM -- It's all paid for, even the donut holes!
11:45 AM -- Somebody just yelled "baby killer!" at Obama. Oh wait, they actually said "Yes we did!" in response to Obama saying congresspeople have "taken their lumps" over the health care reform freakout.
11:45 AM -- These lumps will be treated under the new socialist health care congress people already have.
11:46 AM -- Yeah Hell Yeah give it up for Nancy P., the lady with the Hammer Time.
11:46 AM -- And Harry Reid, too, who is like a Nancy Pelosi with no balls.
11:47 AM -- Hey what did Biden say that cracked everybody up so much, when this was starting?
11:48 AM -- "Today, I'm signing this bill on behalf of my mother, who battled insurance companies even as she fought cancer to her dying day."
11:48 AM -- All these sick people being named will be burned in effigy by the Teabaggers and then eated, for real, by Rush Limbaugh.
11:49 AM -- Hey that Natoma gal again, hasn't she been sent back to the Soviet Union yet?
11:49 AM -- Obama is also signing this bill for famous Republicans such as Bill & Hillary Clinton and Teddy Roosevelt.
11:50 AM -- And Teddy Kennedy's widow and his kids are there. Ted Kennedy is rolling in his grave ... rolling with laughter.
11:52 AM -- "Remarkable and improbable," that's how Obama describes this thing passing, finally, in the form it has passed. "Easy to succumb to the sense of cynicism of what's possible in this country."
11:52 AM -- "We are not a nation that scales back its aspirations." Well, not always.
11:53 AM -- Speaking of, these confederate states planning to sue the United States over this health care law? The last time these same confederate states sued the U.S. over sweeping new federal legislation, it was over civil rights.
11:54 AM -- Thanks and high-five and keep on rockin' in the free world, raise your hands for these old people from Congress, and we will sign this bill, the end.
11:55 AM -- Fox News is running the live video without commentary. And the Dow Jones index keeps going up, as does the NASDAQ and the S&P. Stock markets love the health care reform, just as the stock markets loved the health care reform yesterday. Why so communist, stock markets?
11:57 AM -- HE IS SIGNING IT DO YOU FEEL BETTER YET?
11:57 AM -- Congratulations, America. You are now like Europe in the 1960s.
11:57 AM -- Nancy Pelosi kept the lucky pen!
11:59 AM -- Yowza, Fox News says Biden possibly mumbled "an F-bomb" before Obama walked out? Ha ha ha, Joe Biden.