Obama's Command Of News Cycle First Thing Of Many To Be Ruined By iPad

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  • For the record, Obama is totally into jobs now, not health care. [New York Times]
  • Obama also called for a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which means all those Facebook petitions worked!! [Los Angeles Times]
  • Meet this latest thing you will own! It is called the iPad, and has literally no function other than making iPod Shuffles look useful by contrast. It would be awesome if it came in white, though! [Washington Post]
  • The iPad is also very misogynist for reminding everyone on Twitter that women get their periods. [CNN]
  • Hey hey: Ford announced its first profitable quarter since 2005. This is George W. Bush's adult-onset economic boom! [Wall Street Journal]
  • Good news, from Haiti of all places! This teenage girl who was trapped and missing for 15 days is trapped and missing no longer! [Times Online]
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