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Obamas Host Friendly Egg Roll While Illegal Robot Wars Continue Abroad

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President Obama hosted an impromptu Christian egg-thing on his lawn this morning, probably becausehe forgot to send out a "Happy Easter!" eCard and needed to cover his ass. Your Wonkette had the panache to attend this family event and then ask Barack Obama a mean-spirited question about an American citizen who has been held indefinitely without even being charged with an actual "crime." We are terrible, worse than James O'Queef! Yes! And here are some of our other heavily-edited videos, which prove ACORN gave free abortions to the underage Easter bunny:


All sorts of important people and creatures were in attendance. Even Bo Obama made an appearance, probably so he could poop and pee. At around the 0:10 mark you can hear judgmental Ms. Arielle Fleisher calling Bo "fat," which is extremely rude. Doesn't she know that Bo is struggling with bulimia and "can’t stop snacking on Michelle Obama's toes between meals?" We were going to ask Bo about Libya but he got away.

It's the Harlem Globetrotters! Watch them as they back-flip slam-dunk all of the Easter eggs, creating delicious Jesus omelets for everyone to enjoy. In this video Arielle asks rhetorically, "This is what an Easter egg roll is?" and then wonders how she'll explain such a spectacle to her Jewish friends. Oy vey, Gefilte fish, etc.!

Here is Beatnik Peacetrain Barack Obummer, taking a five minute smoke-break from his busy schedule (Zeppelin-bombing half the world/massaging Goldman Sachs' testicles) to play with small children. Staged photo shoots make everything okay!

Oh, and then Fred Astaire popped out of a cake and flirted with all the womens and tap danced in a toy store and sang songs about how awesome Easter is:

Cute little event. We're still a nation of violent monsters though, the end.

Special thanks to Wonkabout Pork Mistress Arielle Fleisher, for the photographs and swell company!

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