- Huckabee and Barr will embarrass themselves publicly with some other losers, just to see who would fail more tragically as a stand-up comedian. [DCist]
- In her world-famous acceptance speech, Sarah of the North quoted some batshit Nazi who also wanted to assassinate FDR. [Ben Smith}
- Palin and McCain are pretending to have an extramarital maverick sex with each other so that racists can have their own Barack&Michelle. [Daily Kos]
- The North Korean army will destroy its enemies by arranging itself to appear as nothing more than an MC Escher drawing. [Matthew Yglesias]
- Rachel Maddow has had her MSNBC show for all of 48 hours, so it's high time Fox News finally pulls through with a homophobic comment. [Ezra Klein]
- Barack Obama commanded a pack of rabid wolves to run north, to Alaska, so they could devour Palin. These wolves feed on the flesh of hockey moms. [HuffPost]
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