Ronald Reagan's illegitimate son Barack Obama just signed his Tea Party Disaster Bill, which officially makes "being poor" both Illegaland the legal status of 90% of Americans. So will Wall Street finally love Barack Obama a little bit more? No, of course not. Stocks collapsed. This is a Failed State. The value of American stocks has dropped nearly 7% in a week -- that's quite a Vote of Confidence! Meanwhile, regular Americans (the illegal Legally Poor) can add "no emergency social services" to "no jobs" and "no home equity" and "no homes" and "no money." The 14% of Americans who approve of this destructive insanity are, of course, the Tea Party idiots. But at least Barack Obama gave a really terrible, infuriating little speech in the Rose Garden after spending the past few weeks attacking both his supporters and America in general.

Anybody But Obama in 2012, honestly. Is there an actual Democrat who might like to run for president, and maybe get the WORLD'S BIGGEST ECONOMY functioning again, by using the Power of the Government to create millions of jobs? No, not really. So when you go to sleep tonight with the Fear gnawing at your belly, just repeat three times: "At least Obama is better than _____" and fill in whatever Republican bogeyman.