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Ronald Reagan's illegitimate son Barack Obama just signed his Tea Party Disaster Bill, which officially makes "being poor" both Illegaland the legal status of 90% of Americans. So will Wall Street finally love Barack Obama a little bit more? No, of course not. Stocks collapsed. This is a Failed State. The value of American stocks has dropped nearly 7% in a week -- that's quite a Vote of Confidence! Meanwhile, regular Americans (the illegal Legally Poor) can add "no emergency social services" to "no jobs" and "no home equity" and "no homes" and "no money." The 14% of Americans who approve of this destructive insanity are, of course, the Tea Party idiots. But at least Barack Obama gave a really terrible, infuriating little speech in the Rose Garden after spending the past few weeks attacking both his supporters and America in general.


Anybody But Obama in 2012, honestly. Is there an actual Democrat who might like to run for president, and maybe get the WORLD'S BIGGEST ECONOMY functioning again, by using the Power of the Government to create millions of jobs? No, not really. So when you go to sleep tonight with the Fear gnawing at your belly, just repeat three times: "At least Obama is better than _____" and fill in whatever Republican bogeyman.

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Last night, news broke that started to answer a few of the questions we've all been asking: "WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? WHERE ARE THE BABIES? WHERE ARE THE TODDLERS?" We still don't have all the answers to those questions, by any means, and we still don't have all the pictures and video footage Americans need to truly grasp what's going on -- because the Trump administration won't give journalists access -- but we now know thanks to reporting from the AP that the youngest, most fragile children ripped from their parents at border crossings are being held in "tender age" shelters, because doesn't that sound nice? It's like jail, but for babies! Baby jails!

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What in the world is the Old Dotard on about now? Oh, Canadian Shoe Smugglers? Fair enough.

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