Of Course The Magic Anti-5G Pendants Conspiracists Are Wearing Are Radioactive

Conspiracy theories
Of Course The Magic Anti-5G Pendants Conspiracists Are Wearing Are Radioactive

OOH! A certificate of authenticity!

For a while now, conspiracy theorists and new age weirdos (frequently one and the same) have been freaking out about 5G technology and 5G towers and how Bill Gates is going to use 5G to make them sick and control their minds and what have you. Unsurprisingly, this has led to the creation of a small cottage industry of things meant to ward off all of the scary 5G badness out there. Like the company that sold believers a $350 magic 5GBioShield USB Key that turned out to be a regular USB that you can get for $5 anywhere.

Some of the more popular items have been the "Anti-5G Quantum Pendants" and "negative ion" jewelry and sleep masks that are currently for sale at a variety of price points all across the internet. These kind of pendants and charms have been around for a while, but have surged in popularity recently due to the 5G nonsense.

Most of this particular brand of bullshit originated with Deepak Chopra and his book "Quantum Healing," but like every form of bullshit, each believer tends to add a bit of their own flair to it, like a never-ending game of Exquisite Corpse. As a rule, people who believe in stupid things love anything with the words "quantum" or "ion" or the prefix "nano" involved, because they think that makes said stupid things seem more legit and sciencey, like something the cast of The Big Bang Theory would be into (I have never actually seen The Big Bang Theory, this is a guess).

The websites that sell them (which I'm not going to link to) frequently label them as "Japanese Technology" and claim that they use "scalar energy" not only provide protection from 5G and electromagnetic fields, but help people sleep better, improve stamina, "slow down the aging process," "neutralize positive energy" (is that good?) and "re-charge the body's energy field," which really does not sound like a thing that is real.

As is frequently the case with products marketed towards the tin foil hat set, these pendants do absolutely none of the things they claim and, unlike 5G, are an actual threat to the health to the wearer. A study commissioned by the Authority for Nuclear Safety and Radiation Protection (ANVS) in the Netherlands has found that they are in fact radioactive.

The consumer products tested contain radioactive materials and therefore continuously emit ionizing radiation, thereby exposing the wearer. Exposure to ionizing radiation can cause adverse health effects. Due to the potential health risk they pose, these consumer products containing radioactive materials are therefore prohibited by law. Ionizing radiation can damage tissue and DNA and can cause for example a red skin. Only low levels of radiation have been measured on these specific products. However, someone who wears a product of this kind for a prolonged period ( a year 24 hours a day) could expose themselves to a level of radiation that exceeds the stringent limit for skin exposure that applies in the Netherlands. To avoid any risk the ANVS calls on owners of such items not to wear them from now on.

In response to the study, the "quantum pendants" and "negative ion" jewelry and other accessories are now banned in The Netherlands, and any attempt to sell them will be considered a violation of the Nuclear Energy Act. They are not messing around.

Unfortunately, it's not hard to guess how those who believe in this crap will respond to this news — they will, no doubt, consider it a validation of their beliefs and a "psy-op" meant to discredit them and get people to stop wearing the magic necklaces so Bill Gates can turn them into Cybermen or something. And that's a bummer, because people don't deserve to get sick just because they believe stupid things.

I think we should consider combatting this by starting rumors that wearing oven mitts all of the time everywhere or sticking cotton balls soaked in cod liver oil in one's ears can protect people from 5G, as those things would be relatively innocuous to them and endlessly amusing to the rest of us, which seems like a better, kinder alternative to these people just walking around wearing radioactive pendants all of the time.

All other ideas welcome, but also this is now your OPEN THREAD so you may now just discuss anything you want.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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