Oh Go Fuck Yourself, Kayleigh McEnany


It's worth it to gander at what the pro-Trump media is doing in response to Donald Trump Jr.'s great fuckup, the first definite evidence that the Trump campaign actively tried to illegally conspire with Russia to steal the election. Despite how the mainstream media is #woke about this now, complicit White house staffers, Fox News idiots, Breitbart cucks and paid Trump dick-lickers are sure to try to spin this in any direction they can, to hide the truth from the double-digit IQs who make up Donald Trump's base.

In that spirit, WHAT UP, KAYLEIGH MCENANY? In case you're not familiar, she's a Harvard Law graduate who, like many members of the professional right, has found it profitable to pretend she is a fucking moron for Trump. CNN pays her cash money for this! She presumably uses the money to give herself lobotomies, or maybe she just spends it on liquor and loose women, to distract from how she's sold her soul to the world's stupidest devil. (We are not saying she is a lesbianese person! She is engaged to traditional marry a pro baseball player!)

Anyway, Hayleigh McFiddlesticks wrote some dumb shit in The Hill about how Donald Trump Jr. is completely innocent, and about how Hillary Clinton is the REAL Russia colluder. You see, in the liquefied brains of paid Trump supporters, it is still the 2016 campaign, and every Trump (ALLEGEDLY!) criminal action has an equal and opposite "BUT HILLARY!" reaction.

Consider her evidence:

As the Times stories aimed at Donald Trump Jr. emerged, Trump Jr. and those involved opted for transparency every step of the way.

Don Jr. transparently lied about the Russian meeting on Saturday, he told a different transparent lie on Sunday ...

In the Times’ first story published Saturday, reporting a meeting among Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort, and a Russian lawyer, the meeting is curiously described as “previously unreported,” despite the fact that both Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort disclosed the meeting before the Times’ reporting.

Previously unreported in the newspaper, Bayleigh McHootenanny. Previously unreported in the newspaper. We all know Jared Kushner suddenly amended his clearance filings when the press started digging around this story, and that Paul Manafort "recently" told a congressional committee about it. We learned those things in the newspaper!

Now Faileigh McDipsyDoodle would like to explain why Junior's attempted conspiracies weren't bad because it wasn't like he was promised info on Russian hacking or anything. It was a different kind of Russian conspiracy!

... [T]he information Trump Jr. initially expressed interest in receiving was not hacked emails or illegally obtained documents but apparently information about Clinton’s official Secretary of State dealings with Russia.

Weird, just like it said in the Steele Dossier. Is Gayleigh McLegallyBlonde saying the Steele Dossier is REAL? Pee hooker video, here we come!

Time for Dayleigh McALLOFTHEMKATIE to explain why Junior was right to try to get top secret anti-Clinton dirt from the Russian government, because Hillary is the REAL COLLUDER:

Trump Jr. [had] full reason to suspect Clinton had operated nefariously in her dealings with Russia. Bill Clinton had given a $500,000 speech in Russia. Clinton had given her approval in handing one-fifth of U.S. uranium to Russia, after which her foundation received $2.35 million from the Russian-controlled company. Suspiciously, Clinton did not disclose the transaction.

A speech! Bill Clinton, an ex-president of America, gave a speech! LOCK HIM UP! If you click on Kaley McNinny's source link for "handing one-fifth of uranium to Russia," you'll find that it's a bullshit claim from the book Clinton Cash, a book Clinton-haters who can't put on condoms without stabbing their cousin-wives in the eye view as gospel. Normal people know it was funded by Breitbart, written by Steve Bannon's buddy, and pretty much completely debunked BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED. McGillicuddy's link also includes the following words:

There was no evidence the money influenced then-secretary of State Clinton or the approval of the uranium deal. [...]

The fact-checking website Politifact has dubbed the allegations of impropriety against Clinton in this matter "mostly false."

Seriously. All we did was click on the link she provided, in order to debunk her.

But anyway, Smelly McGigglebiscuit, please keep telling us about how Hillary is the real Russia colluder?

Likewise, Clinton campaign chief John Podesta sat on the board of a company that received $35 million from the Russian government alongside fellow board members Anatoly Chubais, a senior Russian official, and Ruben Vardanyan, an oligarch.

OMG! A New York Post article written by the same Clinton Cash guy? John Podesta met a Russian???? Did he use those connections to try to do conspiracies with Russia to steal the 2016 election, because listen up, McSmarty, THAT'S THE FUCKING QUESTION AT HAND. There is nothing illegal about having contacts with Russians, unless you're using them for nefarious purposes like MEDDLING IN AMERICAN ELECTIONS, you DUMB UNPATRIOTIC CLOWN HICK.

Skittles McDingDong also cites "evidence" of how Hillary "colluded" with Ukraine for "oppo research," providing as proof a link to a Politico investigation about a few Ukrainians trying to help Hillary and undermine Trump. Politico quotes David Merkel of the Atlantic Council, who worked in Dubya's State Department, who says the American election "may have been seen as a surrogate battle by those in Kiev and Moscow." What the Politico investigation DOES NOT SHOW is Ukraine directing a multi-pronged campaign to influence the election outcome, and it DOES NOT SHOW Hillary's staff or the DNC popping wood to do conspiracies with Ukraine and call it normal "oppo research." It's an interesting investigation! Read it if you want, if only to see how poor Becky McRib's reading comprehension is.

We're done with this shit. Here's a Rachel Maddow thing from Tuesday night about some of the other bullshit distractions Trump idiots are probably about to throw at us, to deflect from how fucking guilty they probably are:

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[The Hill]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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