Donate

Oh Great, Now The Postal Service Is Broke Too

News

Trig got a job, finally!Not that anyone really *uses* the Post Office anymore, which we suppose is part of the problem, but the Postmaster General popped into the Senate today, exchanged pleasantries, and then told the Senators, "So yeah um, funny thing... we're broke too. Ha...?" The Senators rolled their eyes, sighed, reluctantly took out the golden checkbook with its goosefeather pen and responded, "Alright, goddamnit, fine, how much Obama Money do you want?" But the Postmaster General didn't want their money -- he wanted to cut his own budget! Congress does NOT like this "attitude."


The obvious step for the Postal Service is simple enough: stop delivering on Saturdays. It's the weekend and everyone has e-mail!

In testimony prepared for a Senate hearing this afternoon, [Postmaster General John E.] Potter said he needs "flexibility in the number of days we deliver mail."

"The ability to suspend delivery on the lightest delivery days, for example, could save dollars in both our delivery and our processing and distribution networks, he said. "I do not make this request lightly, but I am forced to consider every option given the severity of our challenge."

He said the cut in mail delivery would be at least one day a week. Currently, the postal system delivers mail Mondays through Saturdays.

Sens. Susan Collins and Daniel Akaka would have none of this "no mail on Saturdays" communist crap, and told Potter to, uh, do more research, there.

It makes you wonder about all of those "sacrifices" we'll have to make in government programs and entitlements if and when we ever emerge from the current financial unpleasantness. When it becomes clear, in a couple of years, that the only way to rescue the dollar and prevent the government from debt default is to completely eliminate Medicare and Social Security (or murder all people over 62, whatever's easier), will anyone in power be capable of taking a harder stand than simply ranting against a single $1.5 million earmark for days on end?

Postmaster Proposes a Cutback in Mail Delivery [WP/Federal Diary]

$
Donate with CC

Let's take a break from the awful terrible news for a moment and check in with Donald Trump Jr. and his unfortunate face. As you may remember, Junior and his wife Vanessa are getting divorced, probably because Vanessa Trump is tired of waking up from nightmares about being married to a guy with that face and immediately seeing him sleeping next to her in bed with that face just leaving imprints on their nice luxury pillows. And the divorce has apparently been getting DIRTY, because "somebody" has been leaking stories to the New York Post about how Vanessa Trump used to write love letters to her MS-13 boyfriend in jail and Vanessa Trump used to date 9/11 and Vanessa Trump doesn't need any Trump money because she is swimming in Marinara Buck$, and so on and so forth. Who is whispering these Vanessa Trump Secrets in the New York Post's ear? Definitely not Junior!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

House Republicans, apparently trying to remind America that they're capable of bad decisions on so many more issues than just immigration, have offered a bold new plan to balance the federal budget in just nine years, eschewing the usual 10-year timeline more typical of such rightwing wet dreams to prove they're serious this time. And what an exciting name the thing has: It's called "A Brighter American Future," and it offers such fresh new Republican ideas as massive cuts to Medicare, also privatizing Medicare, chopping Medicaid into little bits, and then stomping on the bits -- all assuming that they've, once again, repealed Obamacare.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc

SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Donate