Oh Hey, Donald Trump! You Are Under Investigation For Being A Dumb Justice-Obstructing Dick!

not good at presidenting

Wednesday was Donald J. Trump's 71st birthday. It was also the day that the Washington Post reported that yes, for official, Donald J. Trump is under investigation for obstruction of justice. But James Comey said he wasn't under investigation! How can this be? Well, it seems Trump's firing of Comey, his admission on national television that he fired Comey over the Russia investigation, the mother-effin' memos Comey wrote about his creepy encounters with the president, and Comey's Senate testimony were enough to get the attention of special prosecutor Robert Mueller. As WaPo notes, up to now (and to our knowledge), the investigation has been focused on Russian meddling in the 2016 election and whether Trump pals colluded with that crap-ass nation to make that happen. Oh, and they have been following the money, as the kids say, to find out if Trump's friends have committed money crimes.

Come on down and get interviewed by Robert Mueller, everyone!

Five people briefed on the interview requests, speaking on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the matter publicly, said that Daniel Coats, the current director of national intelligence, Mike Rogers, head of the National Security Agency, and Rogers’s recently departed deputy, Richard Ledgett, agreed to be interviewed by Mueller’s investigators as early as this week. The investigation has been cloaked in secrecy, and it is unclear how many others have been questioned by the FBI.

Gosh, we wonder if MAYBE this is why this week started with rumors and trial balloons about whether Trump should go ahead and fire Mueller. Perhaps Trump got wind that he was in Big Trouble Mister?

Anyway, Mueller will obviously be looking at Trump's attempts to obstruct Comey by the pussy, his reported requests to Mike Rogers and Dan Coats that they publicly exonerate him in the Russia investigation, and also his requests that officials put pressure on Comey to end his investigation into Michael Flynn. When Coats and Rogers testified publicly for the Senate Intelligence Committee, they came with pre-scripted bullshit answers about how they never FELT pressured by Trump to do illegal things, because apparently it was all about their FEELINGS. We imagine they'll be a little more open with Robert Mueller, unless Trump tries to invoke executive privilege, which wouldn't be all that effective, as you can't assert privilege to hide illegal acts.

Trump's rent-a-lawyer Marc Kasowitz issued the following statement, saying nothing:

“The FBI leak of information regarding the president is outrageous, inexcusable and illegal,” said Mark Corallo, a spokesman for [Marc] Kasowitz.

Couple things: 1) The WaPo gives no indication the "leak" came from the FBI, and 2) though Mueller is keeping his investigation close to his vest, it's not like some sort of top secret code word clearance information that Trump may have committed obstruction of justice. He did it in front of all our fucking faces. Where's the "illegal" leak? Otherwise, good lawyer statement that doesn't even remotely try to assert the president's innocence!

Donald The Trump very presidentially put quill to parchment and issued an official edict from on high:

Aw puddin'! Nobody said the collusion investigation was over! It's just getting started, and many people may yet die in jail for it! Anyway, you were talking about "bad and conflicted people," Mr. President?


The Daily Beast reported Wednesday night on how this is all being received in the White House, and BOY HOWDY, senior White House staffers sure do love and admire the president, when they're allowed to speak anonymously:

[One] White House official conceded that it would be “suicide” if Trump sacked Mueller at this point, but “I’d be insincere if I said it wasn’t a concern that the president would try to do it anyway.” [...]

Asked what the internal game plan should be, one senior Trump administration official replied, “Keep him away from Twitter, dear God, keep him away from Twitter.”

“The president did this to himself,” the official added.

Ha ha! You lose! Trump hath Twittered! More:

“Whoever leaked [news of the obstruction investigation] was obviously reading that he was thinking about giving Mueller the boot,” the official said. Trump “shot himself in the foot again with this cockamamie scheme to get Mueller to play ball.”

Because he's an idiot who has no fucking clue what he's dealing with.

Oh hey, guess what? The Senate Judiciary Committee is also opening an investigation into Trump's obstruction of justice. So many investigations for one little tiny ineffective president! Unfair!

Anyway, the point is Trump is under investigation and he's in a really shitty mood about it, and we bet he's going to have a really bad day. Hallelujah!

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[Washington Post / The Daily Beast]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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