Also, can you prove a magical pony princess DOESN'T raise the sun every day?

It's a given that kooks are everywhere. And there's evidence that people who believe in one conspiracy theory are also more likely to believe in several -- a phenomenon informally known as "crank magnetism." If a secret cabal of very powerful globalists brought down the World Trade Center, faked the Sandy Hook massacre, and almost put Hillary Clinton in power, it only makes sense that they're also hiding the truth about the moon landings, homeopathy, vaccines, and the indisputable fact that global warming is a hoax. So it should come as no surprise that when Andrew Anglin, Head Aryan In Charge at white supremacy website Daily Stormer, posted a video making fun of flat-earth "theorists" the other day, a remarkably large portion of his readers were very, very angry and upset, because after all only an idiot would believe the Jewish/Masonic/Illuminati lie that Earth is a sphere. If you don't want your browser polluted by the direct link to the Daily Stormer forum, Wonkette pal David Futrelle has a sampling of the best stupidity over at We Hunted the Mammoth. For once, we almost feel a little bad for a Nazi for having to deal with wackaloons who are crazier than his usual run of wackaloons. Almost.

Of course, what with the Daily Stormer site being a vile hive of scum and villainy where the height of sophisticated humor is taking "JosephGoebbels" as your username, it's hard to tell whether some comments are from earnest flat-earthers or whether they're just kidding in a Nazi kind of way, like this one from "whitemanshame," who explains "Fun fact, all the moon mission astronauts were satanic freemasons." Other net-Nazis seem quite earnest indeed, like "Excalibur," who dares other readers to show him the curvature of the Earth:

here is a challenge for all the non believers, somebody give me a picture of the earth that is not CGI

just one

Go ahead: post a picture showing the curvature of the earth, and he'll declare it a fake. Your argument is invalid.

Then there's "Whiteliberty," who approaches the topic with LOGIC and FACTS:

Science is the acquisition of knowledge capable of being reproduced.

You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.

With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.

Many globe claims have been power of suggestion, reliance on authority, and black box frauds. As a thesis, flat earth is stronger in 2017 than 2007.

You can't land on a lightning bolt. You can't land on the "sun" or "stars" or "planets," if they are electromagnetic plasma formations. We don't normally deal with plasma, or understand its properties, or understand the connection between plasma and consciousness, in terms of the concept, field.

Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission.

Just to be clear: No, Newton's third law doesn't require a medium in order to move. Things move a lot better when they don't have to deal with drag, like in space. Or so the CGI animations make it seem. But we liked the "sun" and "stars" and "planets": one of those things is not like the others!

All of this sounds a heck of a lot like Rebecca's neighbor in Los Angeles who just had a lot of questions about the Jews, like why is it that they managed to make Hitler so mad that he wanted to kill them all? If you have not read that piece, you need to go read it and learn a lot of science facts about the Jews, who also run Google and NASA so they can put cloud cover over the North Pole to hide the hole that goes through the crust and the ice to the hollow earth where the aliens live. Maybe Rebecca's neighbor was there on the Daily Stormer message board! He might have been "3rdRicht," who has been giving all this a lot of thought:

I only started looking into what Flat Earth theories within the last month.

1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.

Makes ya wonder, doesn't it? Then there's "SouthernFascist," who isn't quite convinced, but he certainly is open-minded about the matter, because if you believe anything THEY tell you, you might be a dupe. How's this for an example of crank magnetism in action?

Why not? They lie about the holocaust, they lie about the bible, they lie about every single war, they constantly change history, the pretend to be part of the European diaspora, they lie about the control their banks have, they shovel race mixing propaganda down our throats, so if any of this flat earth stiff has any merit at all, it wouldn't be a surprise if the jews were lying about that too.

In all honesty i do believe the moon landings are fake. I don't think we can even get to the moon, nasa even admitted we cant get past the van allen belt due to radiation, so i am 100% convinced the moon landings were faked, at least the first one.

The greatest two-fer on Earth or Moon would be Buzz Aldrin punching a Nazi.

And yet he persisted:

As for flat earth, some stuff i have found is pretty interesting, there is a few things out there that have made me a bit skeptical, but until i see some concrete proof, one way or another, and not some "cgi" earth picture i don't really care if we live on the back of a turtle, just so long as we can take back our world, whatever shape it may be.

Fortunately, cosmology doesn't worry him too much, since it has far less effect on his life than all that race-mixing. It's good to see someone who can figure out their priorities! Same goes for "MrBig," who wonders why anyone even cares about such abstract knowledge anyway:

The Earth can be any shape you want it to be.

The White Genocide is still occurring.

Our race will be just as extinct no matter what the shape is.

Then there are the rationalist, science-based Nazis who find all these flat-earthers an embarrassment to the good reputation of white nationalism, like "StormCommando," who lays out the logic and explains it just doesn't make any sense that all of known science would be a Jewish plot, which is just silly:

What are all the thousands of photos of stars, galaxies and planets and why would they go to such extreme lengths to create such a dumb conspiracy? And why would they invent all of these apparently totally fictional satellites and go into great detail about their workings, specifications, and spend time making these elaborate and unnecessary ‘props’ in lab environments? Again, utterly stupid idea.

He could have stopped there, but of course he had to go on: you know what IS a Jewish plot? Not the shape of the world, but part of its recent history:

I can buy holocaust revisionism because that's a conceivable lie. It's about distorting the facts of something which already happened. But even the scale of that is enormous. And yet even so, it's very easy with a little examination to disprove the holohoax.

So there you go. LOGIC, fuckers. Besides, as "StormCommando" pointed out elsewhere, believing in a flat earth dishonors the Nazi rocket scientists, who surely would have talked about a flat, not a round, planet if there were anything to it. Don't you go insulting the greatest Aryan scientists of all time!

Eventually, Anglin closed the comments and posted an angry follow-up telling his readers that if anyone so much as mentions Flat Earthism again, they'll be banned, because "Seriously though, this type of thing is just… I mean, use some common sense, guys."

How will anyone listen to these guys about the natural genetic inferiority of the lower races if you go talking about this flat earth stuff, after all? It just ain't scientific, while insisting the Holocaust never happened is borne out by all the evidence.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations, and we'd be left flat if it weren't for you. Please throw some money at us via the "Donate" linky below! No checks by airmail, however. They may fall off the edge and never arrive.

[Daily Stormer via We Hunted the Mammoth]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc