Oh Look, President Shitmouth Is Lying About James Comey Again
Not that it matters but I never fired James Comey because of Russia! The Corrupt Mainstream Media loves to keep pushing that narrative, but they know it is not true!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 31, 2018
Trump admitted to NBC's Lester Holt that he fired Comey because of "this RUSH-UR thing," you know "this RUSH-UR thing, with Trump and RUSH-UR." (He says it like that because he's not good at saying words.) He gleefully told the Russian ambassador and the Russian media, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, that he got rid of that insane James Comey, who wouldn't stop investigating Trump and Russia, and that now that Comey was gone, the pressure was off. Hey, let's refresh our memories!
.@realDonaldTrump tweets he didn't fire Comey over the Russia investigation.
Let's go to the videotape: pic.twitter.com/VXIjcrBSwY
— Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) May 31, 2018
Who among us has never told the Russian Ambassador, in the Oval Office, how relieved he is to have fired Jim Comey & be out from under the pressure of the Russia investigation & then lied about it to the American people? https://t.co/YJhwc41acW
— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) May 31, 2018
Rudy Giuliani said unequivocally to Fox News that Trump fired Comey over the Russia thing, because Comey wouldn't caress the president's taint by saying publicly that the president wasn't a target of the investigation. Furthermore, Giuliani believes that wasn't obstruction of justice, because the president is above the law, we guess.
But we are supposed to for some reason believe Trump now, just because he's having thumb-in-ass Executive Time and wants to tweet lies at us? Go fuck yourself, dude.
In related news, the New York Times dropped a wee bombshell on Wednesday night on this very subject, which is probably what prompted the Orange Dingleberry's tweet. The gist is that Trump's arch-nemesis Andrew McCabe wrote a memo last year -- and Robert Mueller has it -- about behind-the-scenes machinations involved in the Comey firing, and it basically says McCabe had a conversation with Deputy Attorney Rod Rosenstein, who said Trump had originally wanted Rosenstein to include stuff about the Russia investigation in his own famous memo, the one Trump used to justify firing Comey. One source quoted in the Times seems to suggest that what Trump really wanted was for Rosenstein to say in the memo that Trump was not personally a target of the Russia investigation, but Rosenstein ignored it. In the final draft, the one we were supposed to believe held the TRUE REASONING behind Comey's dismissal, Rosenstein wrote that, because Comey had so badly mishandled the Hillary Clinton situation, he just had to go.
Because Donald Trump just really hates it when people mistreat Hillary Clinton.
We are trying to guess who leaked this memo, because it sure doesn't make Rosenstein look good. McCabe's people, probably. Oh well, doesn't matter, because, once again, we know why Trump fired James Comey, because he SAID IT ON TV TO LESTER HOLT THE NEXT DAY.
If he hadn't done that, we might be more confused as to whether the president is lying right now, as we speak, but we are not confused, because Donald Trump SAID IT ON TV TO LESTER HOLT THE NEXT DAY that he fired Comey to obstruct justice in the Russia investigation. Oh, he didn't use the words "obstruct justice," but he admitted it just the same.
Did we mention Trump SAID IT ON TV TO LESTER HOLT THE NEXT DAY?
We would be remiss not to mention that.
Oh well, the president is crazier than a shithouse rat, even more than usual today, it seems, but we gotta wrap this post up with a bow because he just announced he's pardoning Dinesh D'Souza and we gotta gussy up a post about that, OH MY GOD, WHY IS OUR BELOVED AMERICA SUCH A FUCKING JOKE RIGHT NOW?
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