Oh No Democrats It Is Time For Your Mass Suicide!

Oh No Democrats It Is Time For Your Mass Suicide!

Your Editrix was in the stupid position last night of having gone to a debate party with her people, the Obamatards. This was stupid because when Wonkette broke ongood ol' Jim and Ken, she had to go outside to start emailing everyone in the world to try to fix it, and also it was really really hard to get a drink and so the five million mentions of "the middle class" went undrunk. Bad Decision jeans! But was it as terrible a night for our Barry Bamz as the entire Internet and Chris Matthews have decided, in their handwritten suicide notes? (Andrew Sullivan, please put out your hair.) Well, we didn't think so -- we saw a fairly boring B. Hussein (as in most of his debates) and the same cracked-out, hyper, stuttering Miffed who showed up to all the primary fiascos. (The main difference being Miffed was more personable than we've seen him before, and didn't insult anyone to their faces.)

But this yen for Fightin' O -- that's never been his style. He's civil, he's a gentleman, and when he's pissed he's not a big scary black man, he's more of an acerbic sly put-down guy ("you're likable enough, Hillary"), and when they land they're hilarious, and when they don't, they're a bit dicky ("you're likable enough, Hillary"). He wasn't a dick last night, but he was positively made of zingers, like his knock on Romney not being able to share his secret plans because they're "too good." You just didn't notice because you weren't at an Obamatard party filled with people loving and hanging on his every word and looking shocked by Romney's breathtaking lies every time words came from his mouth.

Of course, your Editrix is terrible at judging these, considering she knew damn well Al Gore ate George W. Bush and made a soup of his bones, until two days later when the teevee people decided "fuck that guy."

Anyway, there are two more of these plus Old Handsome Joe, so everybody get ready to whine and moan and caterwaul your imminent death some more. Isn't that what Dems do best?

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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