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Oh No Democrats It Is Time For Your Mass Suicide!

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Your Editrix was in the stupid position last night of having gone to a debate party with her people, the Obamatards. This was stupid because when Wonkette broke ongood ol' Jim and Ken, she had to go outside to start emailing everyone in the world to try to fix it, and also it was really really hard to get a drink and so the five million mentions of "the middle class" went undrunk. Bad Decision jeans! But was it as terrible a night for our Barry Bamz as the entire Internet and Chris Matthews have decided, in their handwritten suicide notes? (Andrew Sullivan, please put out your hair.) Well, we didn't think so -- we saw a fairly boring B. Hussein (as in most of his debates) and the same cracked-out, hyper, stuttering Miffed who showed up to all the primary fiascos. (The main difference being Miffed was more personable than we've seen him before, and didn't insult anyone to their faces.)


But this yen for Fightin' O -- that's never been his style. He's civil, he's a gentleman, and when he's pissed he's not a big scary black man, he's more of an acerbic sly put-down guy ("you're likable enough, Hillary"), and when they land they're hilarious, and when they don't, they're a bit dicky ("you're likable enough, Hillary"). He wasn't a dick last night, but he was positively made of zingers, like his knock on Romney not being able to share his secret plans because they're "too good." You just didn't notice because you weren't at an Obamatard party filled with people loving and hanging on his every word and looking shocked by Romney's breathtaking lies every time words came from his mouth.

Of course, your Editrix is terrible at judging these, considering she knew damn well Al Gore ate George W. Bush and made a soup of his bones, until two days later when the teevee people decided "fuck that guy."

Anyway, there are two more of these plus Old Handsome Joe, so everybody get ready to whine and moan and caterwaul your imminent death some more. Isn't that what Dems do best?

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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