Oh No, Has President BrainStupid Said Too Much?????

Donald Trump did a press conference today to celebrate his "new" trade agreement with Canada called "NO NAFTA, NO NAFTA, YOU ARE THE NAFTA," and would you believe he was a dumb dick the whole time? Oh man, he was mad none of the reporters wanted to talk about his ridiculous "Actually this is just NAFTA but we're gonna call it Devil's Triangle because why not" deal. Everybody just wanted to talk about Bart O'Kavanaugh, and if he had boofed yet! Oh yeah, and all the stuff about his rampant sexual assault allegations.

In an idiot Trump presser such as this one, everybody will have different parts that are their #favorite, and Wonkette is no exception. Our favorite is the part where Trump said Brett Kavanaugh has been very open with the "difficulty" he has had with his drinking problem, which is ... something Brett Kavanaugh has neither said nor admitted to!

"I watched a man saying that he did have difficulty as a young man with drink."

Difficulty with drink. Much like Donald Trump has difficulty with talk.

This came out of Trump's word salad shooter in a larger answer about how he, his very own self, had never had any beers, because can you imagine how bad he would be if he drank beers like Brett Kavanaugh? (Trump was strangely halfway self-deprecating here. It was odd.)

Of course, we watched that whole testimony on Thursday, and what we saw was Kavanaugh getting very defensive and angry every time somebody suggested he might have been a li'l bit of a raging alcoholic who blacked out a lot. He did not discuss his problems with "drink," or how he has successfully worked through his problems with "drink," and how because he is very good at controlling "drink" these days, he is confident that as a member of the Supreme Court, he will never accidentally black out and try to do "rape."

This wasn't the only thing Trump said about Brett Kavanaugh's "drink," though:

"I watched him and I was surprised at how vocal he was about the fact that he likes beer. He's had a little bit of difficulty. He talked about things that happened when he drank," Trump told reporters during a press conference outside the White House.


Donald, are you confusing a discussion you had with old Drunky in the Oval Office with shit he said during Thursday's marathon hearings? We are just wondering.

Here is a video of Brett Kavanaugh talking about "drink," about how boys and girls like "drink," and how maybe he had too many "drink" once or twice, but he never blacked out from "drink":


Trump ended that exchange by being a dick to a female reporter, which is a perfect way for us to transition to other parts of the presser, because he was a dick to women a lot today!

For instance, in this video, he calls on a female reporter, ABC's Cecilia Vega, who for some reason says she's "not thinking," perhaps because she's surprised Trump called on her. (UPDATE: Upon further review of the video, pretty much everyone agrees she said, "I'm not. Thank you, Mister President.") Like a total dick, he replies, "I know. You never do." This elicits a shocked, "I'm sorry?" from Vega, but no matter, it's just Donald Trump being a chauvinistic sack of crap again. NO BIG DEAL.

After that, Trump had a mini-tantrum because nobody wanted to talk about his dumb new NAFTA agreement, and said he won't answer the little lady's Brett Kavanaugh question until she asks a nice question about his dumb new NAFTA thing.

Then he DID IT AGAIN, this time to CNN's Kaitlan Collins:

CHRIST, what an asshole.

Trump finally realized that literally nobody in the world wanted to talk about his stupid trade agreement, so he talked at length about how Brett Kavanaugh is an angel and Brett Kavanaugh's whole life is destroyed and Brett Kavanaugh is so smart and Democrats are the worst and Richard Blumenthal lies a lot and Dianne Feinstein is a liar, and so on and so forth. (Those are all video links, if you for some reason hate yourself and want to watch them.)

Oh, and he also loudly insinuated that SOME Democratic senator also has a drinking problem, or some kind of problem, but he won't tell you who, because it's a secret:

Again, we say, CHRIST, what an asshole.

All these questions and dickish answers and shithead non-answers came in discussion about Kavanaugh, and about whether Trump would issue an order to let the FBI do an actual investigation into Kavanaugh's alleged Drunky McSexCrimes. And wouldn't you know it, but not long after the presser, Trump actually didissue that order, so we'll see what happens.

Finally, please enjoy this video of Trump doing thoughts 'n' prayers for the victims of the tsunami in Indonesia, because you know, things like that don't happen in that part of the world (THAILAND! SRI LANKA!), but wow, they're just so bad, and Trump has a friend who studies natural disasters, Trump doesn't know why he does that, but he does, but anyway his friend says tsunamis are real bad, and in conclusion, thoughts 'n' prayers for the victims of the Las Vegas shooting that happened one year ago today!

He is irreparably broken, can the factory please send a replacement president?

Anyway, because it's Monday, which feels like Is It Friday Yet?, here is your OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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