Part one: Announce a stay-at-home order. Because there's a goddamn fucking pandemic.

Part two: Have idiots flout it because they are "covered in the blood of Christ" and if they don't go to church on Easter, Jesus will think they only care about not spreading disease and not killing people, and Jesus was always like "kill more people pls."

Part three: Say okay, we're gonna go to the parking lots and take down your license plates and then go to your house and tell you you have to quarantine now, because infections keep getting traced back to churches, you dicks. (Yes, those are all different church-spread infections. No, churches and churchgoing people aren't dicks if they stop holding services.)

Part four: HOWLING OUTRAAAAAAGE OH THE TYRANNNNNYYYYY.

Fuck yeah he is you fucking death culter.

You have certainly already seen Stephanie Jolly's viral (heh) bar graph showing a few tiny differences in infections between Kentucky, governed by Democrat Andy Beshear, and Tennessee, governed by Republican Bill Lee. (Click through to biggen.)

Now, trying to keep infections from matching Louisiana or Florida ... or Tennessee ... is a terrible infringement on the pro-life party's new motto, Live Free And Die.

And as of yesterday, Kentucky had its own hot spot, traced to ... you guessed it. A church revival.

I love Jesus. Jesus was a cool guy. I don't believe he actually rose from the dead after three days. And I know none of these people are going to.

LISTEN TO YOUR HOT GOVERNOR, KENTUCKY. STAY THE FUCK HOME.

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