Hillary Clinton is only pretending to be a human being at this little girl. I've already been mad once this morning at some bullshit "sand n***er" thing Hillary Clinton supposedly said in one of her Wikileaked emails. (She hadn't; she hadforwarded a newspaper article that used the term, putting it into the mouths of cops who had left a Palestinian man to die in the desert.)

And yet that was a model of truth and honesty, comparatively -- she had in fact forwarded SOMETHING with those words in it, even if it was a newspaper story. Looking at the disgusting twitter account with the "sand n***er" charge, which Fox Business chick Maria Bartiromo had (whoops!) retweeted, led to a long, fun (not fun) email in the Wikileaks "Podesta Files" from a lunatic who had all kinds of bizarre theories about "shopping carts." ("Shopping carts" is the new "deplorables," except for black people and Gypsies, we guess.) The person writing was, frankly, insane. And really racist! Like whoa racist! Like Donald Trump Nazi-frog supporter racist!

The super-racist email was from "" It sent screeds to Hillary Clinton adviser John Podesta and a shitload of HuffPo bloggers. (Really, it was spam TO John Podesta. He's in the "to" field! He did not send it! He is also not from the Netherlands!) If you check the tipline at, you will see a lot of emails just like it! From loons!

But before we were pointed to those "Podesta" emails by that gross twitter guy, the Stupidest Man on the Internet was already ON IT. Jim Hoft, the GatewayPundit, naturally, has since Oct. 8 pretended to think John Podesta (AND Hillary! He just can't make up his mind!) sent the email instead of receiving it (along with a phonebook's worth of random spammees). Let's look at some of Jim Hoft's lies in "WIKILEAKS BOMBSHELL: Racist Hillary Trashes African Americans – Calls Them Losers."

Wikileaks released hundreds of emails reportedly from John Podesta, chairman of the Clinton campaign, on Friday, around 6 p.m. They promise to release more in the days ahead.

Hillary also trashed African Americans. [His bold]

The main reason behind successful immigration should be painfully obvious to even the most dimwitted of observers: Some groups of people are almost always highly successful given only half a chance (Jews*, Hindus/Sikhs and Chinese people, for example), while others (Muslims, blacks** and Roma***, for instance) fare badly almost irrespective of circumstances.

Who was it, Jim Hoft? Was it Podesta, or was it Hillary, or is she actually a shapeshifter and they are the same?

Oh, it was neither, because Podesta was in the TO field and Hillary wasn't in the email chain at all, like we already said.

It's good to know that having a racist lunatic get a hold of your email address makes you a racist. It's even better to know that he could get a hold of the email address of someone you know, and it still makes you racist!

Hoft left out of his dumb, short story the reallllly racist parts of the awful email, because then it would have been too obvious it wasn't sent by Podesta and/or/and Hillary at all, because Hoft is not actually stupid, he just loves to lie.

The story has been up two days, and plenty of his own commenters have pointed out to Hoft that the Netherlands emailer is not John Podesta, and certainly isn't Hillary Clinton. Jim Hoft couldn't care in the slightest.

His website is the 249th biggest in the United States, and he's laughing all the way to Hell.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

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