Last month during the very wonderful Winter Olympic Games, Vice President Michael "Bubbles" Pence, who calls his wife "Mother," and is not allowed to be alone with ladies what are not his wife, because he might just start UNCONTROLLABLY FUCKING THEM, made some news. He was so very muchly upset in his Christ-loving heart that openly gay figure skater Adam Rippon, who is very sexy, did not want to meet him in PyeongChang, because of how Mike Pence is a festering anti-gay bigot from hell who supports Pray Away The Gay therapy. Pence's office begged and pleaded with Rippon! Couldn't they have a beer summit? Couldn't Adam Rippon be convinced to reach around the aisle to Mike Pence? No?

OK what about a little late night dinner in the Olympic Village after Mother takes her night-night pills? No?

Seriously, Mike Pence was available any time Adam Rippon could squeeze him in! (LOL we said "squeeze him in," do you see how we said that?)

But no, it did not happen. They did not Netflix 'n' Chill, and they did not have a Very Important Discussion about how anti-gay bigot Mike Pence (and you know what they say about virulently anti-gay bigots) might believe Adam Rippon is going to burn in hell but also think he's just a motherfucking angel on the ice.

Well now Pence is getting shit because he had a private St. Patrick's Day brekkie-poo on Friday morning with Leo Varadkar, the taoiseach (prime minister) of Ireland, who is A GAY. And he's not bad looking! Look, here are a couple pictures of Varadkar with Justin Trudeau, because no reason:

Embed from Getty Images

As the Indy Star notes, when former Irish prime minister Enda Kenny came to America for St. Patty's last year, all his events with Trump and Pence were open to the public. But for some reason, this year, Pence's breakfast with Varadkar, held at the veep residence, was ALL BY MYSELF. Who made that choice? Mike Pence. Why? Dunno! Varadkar did not really prefer to be alone with that man:

According to the Irish Examiner, Varadkar said he would have preferred that his meeting with Pence would be open to the public, but added that a private session may allow for more "frank conversation."

Hope he read Pence for filth.

The Human Rights Campaign thinks it knows why Pence wanted some privacy:

Ohhhhhhhh, so the big mean gay Irishman wanted to talk to the stupid dipshit bigot vice president of the US and A about LGBTQ RIGHTS, in the year 2018, when equality is pretty much a given in MOST FIRST WORLD COUNTRIES? Mother would not approve.

So why did Mike Pence insist on this little closeted closed breakfast with Leo Varadkar, Gay Prince Of Dublin? Well MAYBE it's because he didn't want mean journalists looking at him while he was trying to play gracious with the hellbound homosexual in his midst, who simply insisted on flaunting his godless lifestyle by asking him questions about all those times he supported Pray Away The Gay therapy and was just generally a vicious bigot toward LGBT people. (Pence ignored questions from the press when Varadkar arrived.) Or maybe he wanted to be alone with Varadkar for other reasons. We do not know, but we imagine it would be real embarrassing if news photographers had caught Vice President Republican Jesus springing morning wood with the taoiseach.


Could be, you don't know.

Anyway, have an open thread, BYE HATERS.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Photo by Wonkette operative 'Zippy W. Spincycle'

Last week, Yr Dok Zoom talked a little bit about his damn dissertation, which looked at "Wabbit Literacy," the weird thing where we sometimes learn about the world from parodies and jokes long before we ever encounter the original stuff -- like learning about opera from cartoons. More than one person in the comments (which Wonkette does not allow and yet, like life, you find a way) mentioned they were disappointed, as kids, to learn that while roadrunners are real birds, the actual critter looks nothing like this:

Which is not to say that real roadrunners are the least bit disappointing, as animals go, because they're freaking incredible. Yes, even if they don't actually leave lines of flame down the center line of desert highways and go "Meep! Meep!" But they can sprint up to 20 miles per hour, which is faster than you, albeit slower than a real coyote's top speed. Also, yes, real coyotes are among the predators what eat roadrunners, which is why the wily birds adopted the evolutionary strategy of running right through fake tunnels coyotes paint on the sides of mountains.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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