Hey, uh, well ... what the hell is this, anyway? Oh, it's a "youth reporter," doing the youth thing! This is what the youths do, when they cover Politics, in the White House. We were pretty certain this was some creepy joke, but ... maybe not?

Good lord, kid, please, take off that damned tie, before Rick Santorum forces you to become his child. And, uh ... drugs? Try drugs! Start with beer, pot, whatever. Even Nate Silver gets crazy, sometimes. (Maybe?)

Those camera-crew guys are THIS CLOSE to giving you a wedgie, followed by a swirlie. Careful!