Y'all. Y'all! We talk about how stupid Donald Trump is a whole lot, because he is stupid, wretchedly stupid, wouldn't trust his broken brain as far as we could throw it. And we think we just call him an absolute fucking moron and move on because, as Fran Lebowitz once said, "You don't know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don't." What else is there to say?

Y'all, he's still talking about that cognitive assessment he took. The one where he correctly identified "camel." The one where Fox News's Chris Wallace laughed right in his face because there Trump was, trying to claim he had achieved something, when all he had to do was point at "elephant." Oh, he claimed it was harder than that, the questions toward the end, at which point Wallace started counting backward by seven from 100, because that was one of the "hard" questions toward the end.

He talked about it again. Ohhhhhhhhh my god.

"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV," said Trump on Fox News Wednesday evening, explaining another one of the "hard" questions on the test. He doesn't remember the name of the test, but he remembers "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." You see, they say five words, and you have to remember the words, and if you say them in the right order, you get EXTRA POINTS. (On the test that's used to determine not if somebody is very super bigly smart, but if they have dementia. That wackjob Dr. Ronny claims he aced it, just like Trump claims he aced it, but we don't believe either of 'em.)

Tucker Carlson showed this clip of Trump's interview with Fox News doc Marc Siegel, because we guess Tucker thinks this is something to be proud of.


Trump touts mental fitness, says Biden 'obligated' to take a cognitive test www.youtube.com


TRUMP: I wanna shut these people up. They're fake news, they make up stories. [Extended non-English babbling about how he doesn't tell interviewers what questions they're allowed and not allowed to ask.]

So they were saying all these different things, it was going all over, whichever stuck, none of it stuck, fortunately.

Oh, it stuck.

But one of the reasons that it didn't is that I took a test!

It stuck even more after the idiot started babbling about how well he can pick out "camel."

I said to the doctor [...] is there a test? An acuity test? And he said there actually is, and he named it, whatever it might be.

The Montreal Cognitive Assessment. That's what it's called.

And it was 30 or 35 questions, the first questions are very easy, the last questions are much more difficult, like a memory question, it's uh, like you'll go "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." So they'll say, "Could you repeat that?" So I said "Yeah. So it's Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." OK, that's very good. If you get it in order, you get extra points.

... You get extra credit on the ... dementia test?

OK, now he's asking you other questions, other questions. And then 10 minutes, 15, 20 minutes later, they say, "Remember the first question? Not the first but the 10th question? Give us that again, can you do that again? And you go, "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV."

He hesitated before "camera."

If you get it in order, you get extra points! They said nobody gets it in order, it's actually not that easy.

It is easy.

But for me it was easy! And that's not an easy question!

It really is, though.

In other words, they give you five names and you have to repeat them, and that's OK. If you repeat them out of order, that's OK, but, but, you know, that's not as good. But then when you go back about 20, 25 minutes later, and they say "go back to that question" -- they don't tell you this! -- "go back to that question, and repeat them, can you do it?" and you go "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." They say, "That's amazing! How did you do that?"

NO THEY DO FUCKING NOT.

You know, unless that's considered progress somehow. Like maybe the last time they gave you the test, you didn't even answer, but instead took a dump in your pants and threw it at Melania. In that case, the doctor might say "Good job! That's amazing!"

I do it because I have like a good memory, because I'm cognitively there!

OK.

And Trump again challenged Joe Biden to take the camel-identifying test. Where you pick out "camel" and "elephant" and say "Person. Woman. Man. [pregnant pause] Camera. TV."

I got a perfect mark! And the doctors were, they said "very few people can do that." Very few people get that, you understand, it's not that easy! There were other questions tougher than what I just did! But it's not that easy!

Trump was begging for encouragement at that point from the Fox News medical doctor Marc Siegel, who seemed to be trying to agree with Trump but also looked like he wanted to get out of there ASAP.

Then again Siegel is a Fox News doctor, so he might have been actually impressed. They breed fuckin' dipshits over there.

But as soon as they announced my score, and that test, all the stuff went away about me, is he competent, remember they're talking about 25th Amendment and nonsense, and they said, "Wow!" And even the enemies, they don't say that anymore.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha OK, Donald. If it keeps your entire brain from eating itself alive to believe that when Dr. Ronny announced that you got "camel," people stopped talking about what an idiot you are, and that even your enemies don't call you stupid anymore, we guess that's fine. You fucking dumbshit.

Here is the Lincoln Project calling Trump stupid, as they tweeted out this very interview:

Anyway, this is pretty much what we expect from somebody who, according to his niece Mary Trump, paid somebody to take his SATs, and made his sister Maryanne Trump do his homework. Because he's extraordinarily stupid.

Wanna see Trump talk with childlike wonder about all the neato tricks Dr. Deborah Birx can do with her scarves? She can do 15 TRICKS!

Good morning, America. That's still your president. You can change that in 103 days.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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