Ohioans heeded the historically ineffective Just Say No advice of their Republican governor -- and, huh, one-time pot dealer to the Ronald Reagan campaign staff of '76, allegedly — John “Not Gonna Be President” Kasich, and voted against legalization of recreational weed-smoking. Guess all you on-the-down-low stoners in the Buckeye state will be staying in your smoky closet for now, with the towel shoved under the door, to keep the smell from escaping.

Issue 3, which "would have legalized the limited sale and use of marijuana and created 10 facilities with exclusive commercial rights to grow marijuana," was decisively defeated on Tuesday, with 64 percent voting against it. Presumably, because the kind of liberal stoners who vote for these increasingly popular measures generally don't bother rolling out of bed on unsexy off-year Election Days. Maybe next year, man, if they're still Feeling The Bern. Besides, isn't life in America so much more exciting when Democrats lose on the regular, and then make epic comebacks during presidential election years? No, but hell if we haven't learned that lesson yet.

Also, Some Say the measure was designed to benefit rich white doucheholes like boy-bander Nick Lachey, so they could set up their own McWeed monopolies, to make even more money, from the drugs. So there's that.

There was also the governor's nationally televised opposition to the measure during the Republican debate in Colorado, where Kasich was unfairly and biasedly asked whether he'd like his state to also make easy money, from taxing weed. Colorado has made $150 million since last year, isn't that awesome? Thus, Gov. Kasich was asked, "Given the budget pressures in Ohio, and other states, is this a revenue stream you'd like to have?"

Kasich said no, he does not want free money from the pot-smokers who are already spending money on the weed. Because drugs is bad, kids, don't smoke the drugs.

Really, that's what he said:

Well, first of all, we're running a $2 billion dollar surplus, we're not having a revenue problem right now. And, sending mixed signals to kids about drugs is a disaster. Drugs is one of the greatest scourge in this country, and I spent five years of my administration working with my team to do a whole sort of things to try to reign in the problem of overdoses, and it goes on and on. We could do a whole show on that.

If Ohio is doing so awesome with the surplus of moneys, does that mean Kasich is going to roll back his "welfare reform" that just so happens -- coincidentally, no doubt -- to disproportionately affect people of color? If Ohio has ALL THIS MONEY, surely taxpayers can afford to let their fellow Ohioans, you know, eat?

Fuck no, what are you, high? Especially not when Kasich's strict regulation of those lazy food stamp cheats is working so well:

A USDA study released earlier this month ranked Ohio among the worst states in the nation for food security. The state has the highest rate of food insecurity in the Midwest and the sixth highest rate nationally.

Here's a crazy idea for you, Ohio: legalize weed, tax the shit out of it, and then everyone who needs government assistance -- to not starve in U.S. America -- can have it. It's so crazy, it just might work. Or it might have, if Ohio had decided to do that. But it didn't. Oh well, maybe next time.

[Ballotpedia]