Donate

Can you dig it?


With all the silly kerfuffle over the last few weeks, of people coming out and saying they were "sexually assaulted" or "sexually harassed," Ohio Supreme Court Judge Bill O'Neil has decided that it is now time for him to come out and take a brave stand for all the heterosexual men out there being cruelly demonized for their boners.

In a Facebook post on Friday, O'Neil -- who is hoping to be Ohio's Democratic candidate for governor -- announced that he had sexed up "approximately 50 very attractive females" in the last 50 years, and hopes to get that out of the way so that we can all talk about the real issues, like marijuana decriminalization and the opioid epidemic.

LOOK. Let me be very clear here, Bill. I do not care if you are, indeed, a sex machine to all the chicks. I will not slut shame you. I don't care if you are into romantic hayloft sex with Sen. Bob Taft or his gorgeous personal secretary, I will not kink shame you. Even if you're into like, furries or quicksand or giant ladies stepping on you like you are a bug, or watching ladies sit on balloons. Go to that Eyes Wide Shut sex party, put on your sparkliest rhinoceros mask, and be well. As long as everyone is consenting, it's cool. That is the key word here, consenting.

To take this reckoning that is happening and turn it into "Oh no! The women have declared war against our boners! We must stop them before it is too late and no one can ever have a boner again!" is myopic and demeaning. To suggest that consensual sexual experiences you have had, or that anyone has had, have anything to do with this discussion we are having about sexual harassment and sexual assault, is missing the point entirely.

You are a judge, Bill. As a judge, you should be aware of the differences between "sexual indiscretions from long ago" and "non-consensual sexual harassment or assault." Some might even say it is part of your job. You will notice that no one here is getting in trouble for that key party they attended back in 1975, but rather for doing things to women (and men!) that they did not want. For abusing their power. For thinking that power entitled them to other people's bodies.

Given all of your varied romantic encounters with women, I am surprised that you never learned that we are pretty good at multi-tasking. Not only can we bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, we can simultaneously care deeply about the failings of our criminal justice system and not want anyone's hands on our tits without an invite. Amazing how that works. I suppose it is just one of the many wonders of being a woman in this world.

Sexual harassment and sexual assault, despite what Judge O'Neil may think, are "real" issues. They are very real issues to those of us who have experienced them and to those of us who would prefer to not experience them in the future. May I note that Al Franken, himself, is not denying that. He is not denying Leann Tweeden's experience or referring to this as a "sexual indiscretion from decades ago." This is an important conversation we all need to be having. It is just as important as legalizing pot. In fact, I might even suggest that it is more important than legalizing pot.

If Judge O'Neil can't see that, let's hope there's another Democratic candidate for Governor of Ohio who can.

[Cleveland.com | H/T @PommesPommes]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

$
Donate with CC

Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc