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Ohio's District Two: The Interpretive Dance

We were up late last night, crossing our fingers for handsome anti-war vet Paul Hackett to squeak out a victory in Ohio. But by the time the gin was gone, the race was called for the scary marathon-running pro-lifer. Imagine our surprise upon reading this morning that Hackett's loss was, in fact, a sure sign of Republicans' downfall; as Rep. Rahm Emanuel, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, put it, "There's no safe Republican district. You can run, but you cannot hide." We asked Fred Becker to explain.


Dear Willie Wonka,

 

I need a vibrant two party system and this morning’s result from Ohio depresses me. Not because I am haunted by the skeletal frame of the Republican winner (is she planning on challenging Bush to a race?), but because the Democrats' spin makes my brain curdle. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when the other candidate gets more votes, that’s a win.

Continued after the jump.

Democrats might look to their “re-defeat” Bush strategy in 2004 that was so successful. While they have been talking about how they really won the 2000 and 2004 elections and existing in an alternate universe where all the wars are just and all the lunches are free, George Bush has redefined government for the next forty years. I’m sorry that I’m not very clever or original about this but I need conflict and strife in my two party system. When one party believes in fairies and incantations it means that they will be stuck fielding candidates wearing satin capes and toting collections of twine.  

 

So, until I can find Rahm Emanuel’s inhaler or whatever will keep him from dishing out this drivel by the tumblerful, I remain, 

Your faithful wisecracker with lower back pain,

Fred

GOP Wins U.S. House Election in Ohio [AP]

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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