Ohio's District Two: The Interpretive Dance

We were up late last night, crossing our fingers for handsome anti-war vet Paul Hackett to squeak out a victory in Ohio. But by the time the gin was gone, the race was called for the scary marathon-running pro-lifer. Imagine our surprise upon reading this morning that Hackett's loss was, in fact, a sure sign of Republicans' downfall; as Rep. Rahm Emanuel, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, put it, "There's no safe Republican district. You can run, but you cannot hide." We asked Fred Becker to explain.

Dear Willie Wonka,


I need a vibrant two party system and this morning’s result from Ohio depresses me. Not because I am haunted by the skeletal frame of the Republican winner (is she planning on challenging Bush to a race?), but because the Democrats' spin makes my brain curdle. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when the other candidate gets more votes, that’s a win.

Continued after the jump.

Democrats might look to their “re-defeat” Bush strategy in 2004 that was so successful. While they have been talking about how they really won the 2000 and 2004 elections and existing in an alternate universe where all the wars are just and all the lunches are free, George Bush has redefined government for the next forty years. I’m sorry that I’m not very clever or original about this but I need conflict and strife in my two party system. When one party believes in fairies and incantations it means that they will be stuck fielding candidates wearing satin capes and toting collections of twine.  


So, until I can find Rahm Emanuel’s inhaler or whatever will keep him from dishing out this drivel by the tumblerful, I remain, 

Your faithful wisecracker with lower back pain,


GOP Wins U.S. House Election in Ohio [AP]


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