OK An Actual Friday Election Results Liveblog Because We Wouldn't Wanna Mess With Last One's Perfection
10:40: Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger points out there are still military ballots incoming (good thing none of our Georgia-born soldiers are men and women of color), and it's too close to call. He also would like to remind us that there are "complaints in other states of observers not being let in," which is an absolute stupid lie.
Brad Raffensperger can eat my entire asshole.
10:45: You guys wanna see some loser-stank bullshit?
New: Fox News is instructing its talent not to call Joe Biden the "President-elect" when the network calls the race… https://t.co/5VItNmSxV4— Oliver Darcy (@Oliver Darcy)1604673183.0
"'We will report both sides until there is further guidance,' one memo said." Further guidance from whom exactly? Huh!
Who would like a lovely thought from Friend of Wonkette Dan Savage? YOU WOULD? Okay!
(I don't know why this tweet keeps falling out, I have readded it three times.)
Looking forward to @JoeBiden hosting @BarackObama at the White House to unveil Obama's portrait. https://t.co/W2y0nLSt6D— Dan Savage (@Dan Savage)1604675087.0
11:00: Nancy Pelosi is actually shaking with joy and "officially" very pleased. Will bring vid once Rupar posts it.
11:15: I believe there is a phrase for this, it's right on the tip of my tongue:
Rick Santorum on CNN literally saying "Democrats need to give Republicans, including Trump, time and space to work… https://t.co/7X4jralvli— Kathy Benjamin (@Kathy Benjamin)1604676976.0
11:30: Ronna Romney McDaniel on Fox talking about the "disconcerting" Democratic precincts that won't let observers in, again, this is an entire lie. She just thinks we need all the recounts to investigate all the "irregularities." "We believe you," says Bret Baier, which is very "real journalist not like that nighttime crew."
All of a sudden, "having the vote counted by Tuesday at midnight" isn't such a concern, who could have seen that coming, big mystery!
Oh, here is a fun (not fun) video from last night of Newt Gingrich calling for mass arrests of poll workers.
Here Gingrich describes the (non-existent) crimes for which Bill Barr should send in federal agents to arrest elect… https://t.co/EXOHHR7VGM— Josh Marshall (@Josh Marshall)1604638112.0
He actually sounds like he believes what he's saying. Paranoid delusions are so upsetting!
11:35: Biden has just doubled his lead to 22,000 in Nevada, for a lead of 1.7 percent. This should be it.
12:07: Liz wrote about the whining mewling Trumplets and their slavering Renfields.
12:27: Peter Alexander on MSNBC reporting from the White House, direct quote: "Apparently no one is willing to tell King Lear the truth."
SER has come in on his day off to make love words to Stacey Abrams, as should we all.
12:50: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Mayor Jim Kenney: "The president needs to put on his big boy pants and congratulate the winner." Plus shits on Rudy Giuliani, as is right and proper.
Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney (D) calls for Trump to put on his "big boy pants" and "congratulate the winner" just… https://t.co/xCTbe3fsiH— TPM Livewire (@TPM Livewire)1604685330.0
1:10: The boooating is the hardest part.
The cruelest cut: Trump lost 4 of the top 5 states for boat ownership (CA, MI, MN and WI)— Bill Scher (@Bill Scher)1604681940.0
1:20: Well that took exactly as long as expected: Sen. Lindsey Graham is now concerned about working together to "address the debt." Wonkette agrees! First we repeal the tax cut. Then we take that money and send it to all the American people as stimulus, except, like, 20 bucks. Then we have reduced the debt by $20.
1:50: Robyn has written you a happy post about Trump's stupid face :)
Where are the missing military ballots in Georgia? What happened to them?— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump)1604684297.0
Ask your postmaster general you dumb fucking cock.
2:45: Sorry, this liveblog is getting more and more *wanders off to follow a butterfly*. I mean, what else is there to tell you about? Here, the Atlantic laughs its ass off on anyone who wants to go to "war" with Philly. (The Atlantic)
3:20: Pennsylvania GOP has filed EMERGY LAWSUIT TO SCOTUS TO SEGREGATE THE POST-ELECTION-DAY-ARRIVING MAIL-IN BALLOTS, which are ... already segregated and we're also, according to math, not going to need them. So, okay, knock yourself out. (EMERGY LAWSUIT)
3:30: I am hungry. Are you hungry? Be hungrier, there is a new Department of Salad!!!
Also, this whole thing must be almost over, MSNBC has now done two non-Election Math stories in a row, one on coronavirus, and one on apparently some Q guys arrested for weapons bomb threats or something? Unclear, I was reading about all the salads.
3:45: Robyn has written you up a delightful post on Trump and the GOP just *can't figure out* why Joe Biden would win mail-in ballots after Trump told his followers not to use mail-in ballots. Delightful I say!
4:10: LOLOLOL which part of this stupidest thing I have ever seen will make YOU cry? For me, it was Bernie and Liz. (THE BERNERS WERE VERY GOOD THIS CYCLE, AND SHOULD BE COMMENDED, NOT SHIT ON IN THE COMMENTS, THAT IS WONKETTE LAW.)
LMAOOO IM NEVER DELETING THIS APP https://t.co/krCSZXMfJh— EDM BEN 10 🦍 (@EDM BEN 10 🦍)1604692295.0
4:30: Dok has written about feelings, and how we are allowed to have them. You will like it, of course, it's Dok!
And barring any actual news, I will eat a food and do tomorrow's Top 10 and maybe see my family a little? No, that can't be right. Be well, be safe, and we love you big dumb jerks.
Oh right, almost forgot our DONATION WIDGET! If the first place you want to be is Wonkette when the monster shitmouth is finally defeated, and you're not already, please give us all the money. ALL OF IT! Or a little bit of the money. #DoWhatYouLike
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