When everything is crazy -- and everything is crazy all the time in the Trump administration -- the guiding principle is probably greed. Yesterday, when Donald Trump was throwing his own intelligence agencies under the bus, he pronounced himself stumped as to why Russians would ratfuck our elections on his behalf.

I will say this, I don't see any reason why it would be.

The answer is money. It has always been money. And just like Maria Butina told her handler Alexander Torshin, "POLITICAL PARTY 1," aka the GOP, was the best vehicle for the Russian government to get their hands on a whole lot more of it.

Because the Democrats have been piling sanctions on Russia for the past seven years. After Russia invaded Ukraine and stole part of its territory in 2014, Western sanctions crippled the Russian economy, costing it hundreds of billions of dollars in lost trade and internal inflation. But what pisses the oligarchs off the most is the 2012 Magnitsky Act sanctions, which prevent them from spiriting their stolen assets out of Russia into the safety of Western financial markets. And that's why Russians are constantly calling Bill Browder a criminal and pressuring Western governments to hand him over.

Sergei Magnitsky was the accountant for Browder, a British financier whose Hermitage Capital Management was one of the largest firms in Russia until Browder was barred from the country in 2005. When Magnitsky fought the fraudulent government seizure of Hermitage, he was arrested and tortured for a year, dying in police custody in 2009. Browder has successfully lobbied the American, Canadian, UK, Estonian, Latvian, and Lithuanian governments to exclude Russian oligarchs from the global financial market and foreign travel. So Putin and his friends can't take advantage of orderly Western economies -- where you don't have to kick up for bribes and constantly fear that a gangster will expropriate the booty you expropriated from Russian taxpayers.

Which is why Russian lawyer Natalya Veselnitskaya tried to frame Bill Browder for illegal contributions to Hillary Clinton's campaign in the infamous Trump Tower meeting. Here's Paul Manafort's notes on their coffee klatch -- we're betting Don Jr. was too stupid to realize what she was offering, but Manafort, with his long history in the former Soviet Union, probably grokked it.

She was dummying up "dirt" on Clinton in an attempt to get America's Magnitsky sanctions lifted. Russia had barred Americans from adopting Russian babies in response to the sanctions. And Veselnitskaya was offering all the BOUNCY WHITE RUSSIAN BABIES Americans could ever want, if the US would just hand over Browder and let those oligarchs start shoveling stolen loot into the financial system again.

Veselnitskaya was still slagging Browder in April when confronted by NBC's Richard Engel with leaked emails connecting her to the Russian government.

And yesterday, that dumb America First sumbitch was actually considering Vladimir Putin's "interesting offer" to jointly investigate Russian interference in the 2016 election. Mueller and the thirteen angry Democrats can travel to Russia and watch the FSB "interview" the Russians who hacked the DNC, and all we have to do is hand over Bill Browder.

PUTIN: For instance, we can bring up the Mr. Browder in this particular case. Business associates of Mr. Browder have earned over $1.5 billion in Russia. They never paid any taxes, neither in Russia nor in the United States, and yet the money escaped the country. They were transferred to the United States. They sent huge amount of money, $400 million, as a contribution to the campaign of Hillary Clinton. Well, that's the personal case. It might have been legal, the contribution itself, but the way the money was earned was illegal.

There is ZERO EVIDENCE that Browder or anyone associated with him ever gave money to Clinton, much less $400 million! But Putin knows Trump would be thrilled to get dirt on the woman who won the popular vote. Hell, it might have worked in June of 2016 if Don Jr. weren't such a fucking moron that he didn't realize what they were offering him. Lucky thing Browder is a British citizen, or Trump would probably black helicopter him into Moscow. As Browder told Time,

The biggest mistake that Putin made in his offer today to effectively swap me for the 12 Russian agents is that he went to the wrong head of state. Although I was born in America, I emigrated to the United Kingdom 29 years ago and am a British citizen. If he really wants me, he better go talk to Theresa May, who might have a few choice words for him after Russian agents spread the military-grade nerve agent Novichok across the cathedral town of Salisbury, England.

Two weeks ago, Republican Senators were celebrating Independence Day in Moscow. Rand Paul is headed there soon to snuggle up with the very people who hacked our elections and are still hacking our elections. These treasonous GOP bastards are dying to get those sanctions canceled, not least because they don't want to acknowledge that their 2016 "win" came with a huge, illegal assist from a crumbling gangster state.


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OOH BOY HOWDY, The Federalist is on fire this week! Just this morning we told you about the hilarious Federalist column where one neo-Nazi's mom and dad are Democrats, ipso facto QED NEO-NAZIS ARE THE REAL LIBERALS, FUCKERS! Is America's dumbest woman whose name doesn't rhyme with Cara Snailin' over there being a total fuckin' Mollie Hemingway right now? Sadly, she blocked us on Twitter, so how could we possibly know? The answer is WE DON'T CARE.

But now we have a gem of the Federalist genre, an article written by a whiny-ass gay quisling conservative, who would like to chew on his blankie and whine about how much harder it is out there for a conservative than it is for a gay person. This is a subject we happen to have some knowledge about, because we are super gay! And we know a lot about conservatives, both firsthand -- being subjected to them every single one of our almost four decades of life -- and also from covering extremist right-wing Christians for a very long time. Particularly the kind that tell young, impressionable, vulnerable gay kids that they need to pray away the gay if they want Jesus to exercise some self control and refrain from sending them to a fiery hell for all eternity.

We clicked on the article with high hopes. See if you can spot why:

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pic via Glamour Shots, we mean this dude's old website

The House Education and Workforce Committee was all set to have a hearing today all about the horrors that a higher minimum wage would wreak on the economy. Horrors like rich people being slightly less rich. Horrors like business owners claiming they will have to fire people and charge $15 for a McChicken if forced to pay workers a living wage, which they won't actually do because no one will buy a $15 McChicken and they would go out of business if they tried that, and they already don't hire more people than the bare minimum they can get away with. Horrors like poor people not being "motivated" to work harder and get better jobs that do not pay them an amount no human being could possibly live on.

Alas, as Politico reports, it was not to be, as committee members discovered their big witness for the hearing, San Diego State University economist Joseph Sabia (pictured above in a Glamour Shot from his archived website), was kind of a wacko.

Sabia, as it turns out, once had a blog called "No Shades Of Gray," in which he wrote many columns of an extremely homophobic and sexist persuasion. In one of these columns, in 2002, Sabia was very mad about one man's lawsuit against several fast food giants for contributing to his health and obesity problems by failing to disclose the nutritional information of the food they sold. In retrospect, I think most people are now on board with these chains being required to post calorie counts and other nutritional information, but in 2002, Sabia was convinced that requiring them to do this would be an assault on freedom for all Americans everywhere. His response to this was to try and attempt a Jonathan Swift posture and suggest taxing gay sex, which he claimed leads to "disastrous health consequences."

Because sure, that's the same thing, basically.

In gay sex, we have an activity that is clearly leading to disastrous health consequences. What rational person would engage in this sort of activity? There is only one solution - let's tax it.

"Come on, Sabia," you say, "how are you going to enforce these taxes? Are you going to send government officials to peep into everyone's bedroom?"

Eventually. But first we have to mount the assault on Big Gay (no, I am not talking about Rosie O'Donnell). We can tax gay nightclubs, websites, personal ads, sexual paraphernalia, and so forth. Talk about a sin tax!!! We can cripple gay-related industries and get them right where we want them. All gay clubs will have to feature huge, flashing warning signs like "CAUTION: Entering this nightclub may increase your chance of contracting STDs and dying."

Big Gay clearly lures people into trying their "product" without discussing the risks to mind, body, and soul. The average Joe on the street does not understand all of the possible bad outcomes. I can almost hear him now:

"They said '100 percent hotties.' I thought that meant it was fun. I thought gay sex was OK…Now I have all these diseases. Big Gay has wrecked my life."

In the immoral words of Warren G, "Regulators!! Mount up!"


In another 2002 article, classily titled "College Girls: Unpaid Whores," Sabia laments that feminists have led college girls to stop trying to be like the Holy Virgin Mary and instead to aspire to be more like that hussy Ally McBeal.

No, really.

As women have strayed from the church, they have replaced what is holy with what is temporally pleasing. For Catholics, the model woman is Mary, the virgin Mother of God. She is beloved by the faithful for her unflappable devotion to and trust in God, her nurturing of the Son of Man, and her deep love for all humanity.

Today's college girl looks to Ally McBeal, the trollops of Sex in the City, and the floozies on Friends to set their moral compasses.

The sad truth is that college girls are so desperate to find love that they are willing to degrade themselves to get it. But true love can only be understood in the context of the Word of God. Any other notion of "love" is secular and, by definition, limited and finite.

Not only that, but instead of going to college to find a husband, they have boyfriends. Boyfriends they have S-E-X with. And sometimes, not even that. Sometimes they have sex with people just because they want to have sex with people, and not even in exchange for Valentine's Day cards or money!

Additionally, other sex-based relationships have become commonplace. In recent years, a new and disturbing arrangement known as "friends with benefits" has emerged. In this arrangement, men are not even forced to perform the normal duties of boyfriends, i.e. flowers, Valentine's Day cards, rides to the abortion clinic, etc. Instead, girls consider these guys "just friends" whom they happen to screw every now and again. No strings, no attachments, no dinners. Just sex when they feel like it.

This type of arrangement is the next logical step in the direction that young women have drifted in the last few decades. These women have become unpaid whores. At least prostitutes made a buck off of their trade. These women just give it away.

How cute! He was like the ur-incel, basically.

Anyway, following the discovery of the posts, the House Education and Workforce Committee's GOP communications director Kelley McNabb told Politico that "members were uncomfortable moving forward on the hearing." A more optimistic person might think this was a step forward, that maybe those committee members actually thought it was bad to suggest that being gay means being a disease-ridden monster or that college girls are whores, but it's probably more to avoid embarrassment than anything else. Guess they'll have to start from scratch and find a crappy economist who will tell them what they want to hear about the minimum wage but who doesn't have an embarrassing Geocities blog in their past. Good luck with that!


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