Oklahoma Has Cunning, Wildly Unconstitutional Plan To Keep The Gays From Marrying
Gays gonna have to take it the Oklahoma! way
What's an Oklahoman to do after the mean nasty libturd Supreme Court declared marriage equality the law of the land, full stop, no takesies backsies in 2015? Why, make it illegal for anyone with an STI to get married, of course! Wait, what?
Yes, Oklahoma (motto: "Definitely Not The MENSA State") has decided the best way to keep the gays from getting married is to make it illegal for anyone with a sexually transmitted disease to tie the knot. The Oklahoma state Senate is currently deliberating Senate Bill 773, a measure that would require anyone seeking to get married in Oklahoma to submit to a blood test.
In and of itself, that's actually not all that weird; two other states and the District of Columbia require blood tests before marriage. Ordinarily, though, that's designed to keep relatives from inadvertently marrying each other (Mississippi being one of those two states makes this the funniest fact we think we have ever learned) -- or to make sure a person's partner knows their potential spouse has an STI before they decide to get hitched. This is exactly what the bill's author, state Senator Anthony Sykes, claims is the intent.
What makes Oklahoma's law unusual, though, is it would actively forbid anyone who tests positive for an incurable STI -- like, to name an example completely and totally at random (why would you think otherwise?) HIV/AIDS -- from getting married. Anyone. At all.
Sykes and the rest of the assembled brainpower of the Republican-controlled Oklahoma state Senate apparently thought far enough to realize they'd better make this apply to everyone if they wanted it to pass constitutional muster, but didn't think far enough through to notice the wee teensy hangup that this cunning plan is wildly, absurdly, cosmically unconstitutional on its face. Oh, and (in addition to perpetuating harmful stigmas surrounding STIs) it's also based on the laughably incorrect/depressingly bigoted notion that the gays universally have STIs all up in their no-no parts.
[contextly_sidebar id="yQeBB5B6MhHNDC7A188hX48MnTsUHlaa"]Then again, this is Oklahoma we're talking about, where you'd be lucky to find a person outside of the Wonkette editrix's mom who can spell "unconstitutional." Or "thought." Or "STIs." Remember, we're talking about the state that attempted to stave off marriage equality in 2015 by accidentally making it easier for all the people to get married, even the icky gay ones.
And if this most recent example of comical idiocy doesn't convince you once and for all that Oklahoma is America's Worst State, consider this: when the US government wanted to shuffle off thousands of Native Americans to the absolute shittiest locale on the continent, they settled on Oklahoma.
We rest our case.