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Do not let this man near your pussy.


A well-known Greenwich, Connecticut, Republican told a town worker he didn't have to be politically correct anymore, and then, per a police report, "pinched her in the groin area," i.e. grabbed her right by the pussy.

It's a brave new world.

Before the old gentleman, Chris von Keyserling, 71, did freedom all over that town worker, they had a tit for tat, according to the Fairfield Daily Voice, which reviewed the police report.

The town worker told the old guy to school his fellow politicians; he told her he didn't have to be politically correct anymore; she said, probably all snotty like, "well then I can't help you," he called her a "lazy, bloodsucking union employee," she said "fuck you" and went to her office, and he followed her in there and grabbed her right by the pussy.

So, you know, both sides do it, and cetera!

As she walked by, he allegedly pinched her in the groin area, according to the warrant. She threatened to punch him if he ever did that again, the warrant said.

She said he "looked back with a really evil look in his eyes and said, 'it would be your word against mine and nobody will believe you,'" according to the warrant.

Whoops, looks like he was wrong, because then they arrested him! :(

After the town worker filed her complaint with the police, she met with von Keyserling. But was it all a misunderstanding, because the old man is such a kidder? OH YOU BETCHA!

She declined to speak about the complaint, prompting him to say, "Was this about the little pinch I gave?" and further adding it was a joke and that he couldn't believe the 57-year-old woman could be offended, the warrant said. He said that he and the woman have "that kind" of a relationship. He added that "he is the kind of guy that like to embarrass his teenage daughter and he calls it a 'gig' and that's what this was 'a gig.'"

A gig, you guys, it was just a "gig," like he does to his teenaged daughter! We are going to end this story now and go throw up blood like we are full of Ebola.

Anyway, if you were under the nice, deluded impression that our president-elect laughing about grabbing pussies wasn't going to give sex-assaulters in the general population the freedom to go around delivering "pinches in the groin area," then you DEFINITELY aren't going to want to see what happens in junior high schools for the next four years.

It ain't gonna be good.

[DailyVoice]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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