One Million Moms Are Very Mad About 'Fruit Bowls.' That Is Not A Euphemism.

White Nonsense
One Million Moms Are Very Mad About 'Fruit Bowls.' That Is Not A Euphemism.

There are very few things we can count on in this world anymore, but one thing that remains fairly consistent is that the One Million Moms Who Are Actually Like Maybe Three Moms are usually mad about something stupid in a way that is, traditionally, pretty hilarious.

This week is no exception. They're mad at Dole. Like, the fruit company, Dole. Are they mad at them for like, something to do with farm worker's rights, or allegedly funding paramilitary death squads in Colombia, or like, that whole thing in Nicaragua where they were allegedly using an illegal pesticide that caused sterility in their workers? Ha! No. It is a commercial. There's a commercial they don't like and would like to see taken off the air, please and thank you.

The series of commercials they are upset about feature adults using the term "fruit bowl" as a substitute for swears or other things they don't want to say in front of their kids. Particularly since one of these commercials features a lesbian couple, and you know they don't cotton to that!

Dole - Fr*it B*wls - Kid

Via One Million Moms:

Dole is currently airing three different commercials that substitute the literal meaning of the words "fruit bowl" with very inappropriate connotations. It's part of an advertising campaign the company coined "Quaran-Tension," Dole's attempt to cast a humorous light on the angst created by the COVID-19 quarantine. But Dole fails miserably at its efforts to be funny.

The commercials use "fruit bowl(s)" as code words for intimacy, in place of swear words, and as a demeaning reference to children.

Oh wow, really? That is totally not a thing parents do or a reason why I am super good at swearing in Italian.

Here, they describe the offending ads:

Here is the dialogue from one commercial that features a set of grandparents and one of their grandchildren: "Well, with the grandkids home now, finding alone time is a challenge. That's why we have a secret love language. … You in the mood for fruit bowls? … I would love some. …" (Then a granddaughter interrupts: "Can I have some fruit bowls too?") "We are eating a lot of fruit bowls, just not having a lot of fruit bowls."

Another ad features a couple saying the following: "Times are stressful, but we are trying not to swear in front of the kids. So, we use 'fruit bowl' instead. Fr*it B*wl! What the fr*it b*wl?! We eat a lot of fr*it-b*wling fr*it b*wls."

The third commercial features two lesbian moms who are frustrated over their kids' behavior. They use "fruit bowls" as a code word to talk about their kids in front of the kids. The mothers are regretting and questioning whose idea it was to even have these "fruit bowls."

Seems like maybe they are scraping the bottom of the fruit bowl here. But they claim that their big fear here is that this will lead children to go out into the world and start saying "fruit bowl" all of the time instead of properly swearing like decent, wholesome children.

The insinuations and tone in these ads are offensive because of what is represented, and the fact that children actually appear in the commercials is also disturbing. It's sad that a well-known company has made a deliberate decision to produce a controversial commercial instead of a wholesome one.

One Million Moms finds this marketing campaign highly inappropriate. All three of Dole's fruit bowl ads are irresponsible and tasteless. It is extremely destructive and damaging to impressionable children viewing the commercial. We all know children repeat what they hear.

These ads are airing during prime time, when families are likely watching. Dole should be more responsible in its marketing decisions. Let Dole know that as a parent and a customer you are disgusted by its recent marketing choices.

Dole needs to know parents do not approve!

Oh yeah, I'm sure that's every parent's biggest concern right now. That kids are gonna be scarred for life over a freaking ad for pineapple.

Psychologist: When did this all start?

Patient: Well, I saw this ad for fruit one time and it just was so traumatic that three years later, I was smoking banana peels. It haunts me to this day.

The actual petition they want people to sign is wonderfully melodramatic.

I am highly offended by Dole's "fruit bowl" commercials. It is an irresponsible marketing campaign to insinuate profanity, use code words for sex in front of children, and degrade the value of children in an advertisement. Everyone knows children repeat what they hear. Foul language, a liberal agenda, and sexual innuendos are not necessary to sell your products. I urge you to cancel these commercials immediately. Until you clean up your advertising, I will no longer buy your products.

So good.

This isn't cancel culture, of course. Only liberals do cancel culture. This is simply being very offended by a fruit commercial and demanding it be taken off the air. Totally different thing.

It is, however, your open thread. So enjoy!

[One Million Moms]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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