One Million Moms: God Will End Abortion If You Stop Eating Ice Cream And Watching Netflix

One Million Moms: God Will End Abortion If You Stop Eating Ice Cream And Watching Netflix
Ice Cream Sundae, Banana Split | Nan Palmero | Flickr

This morning I was blessed with a lovely email from Monica Cole, the woman with One Million Moms living inside her head, all about how they and the SPLC-designated anti-LGBTQ hate group the American Family Association are asking their supporters to pray and fast in hopes of ensuring that God will overturn Roe v. Wade.

Dear Robyn,
The fight to end abortion in America is a spiritual battle. That is the best way to understand the events of the past week – indeed of the past 50 years, since the Roe v. Wade decision effectively legalized abortion on demand in all 50 states.

Our battle plan for the reversal of Roe v. Wade includes prayer and fasting. We invite you to join us in taking this pledge.

Honestly, I'm not even mad at that. They should absolutely fight the abortion battle on the spiritual plane, with prayer and fasting. That is far preferable to fighting it on the earthly plane with horrific legislation (which they are of course also doing anyway). It's really the next paragraph where things go off the rails.

The Left – and the media – would have you believe the issue of abortion has divided America into two warring camps. On the one side are Christians and people of good will who believe abortion ends a human life. On the other are those who would defend even the murder of a child after being born alive.

Is that how we're framing things? Really? We're the ones saying that they're holy people of good will and that we want to do infanticide on newborn babies (probably so we can sacrifice them to Moloch)? That sure doesn't sound like us. Perhaps she is confusing us with Texas Governor Greg Abbott who is totally okay with killing newborn babies if their parents are immigrants. Or, or God! God is pretty into killing newborn babies, either for real because he feels like doing a plague or for pretend because thinks it would be funny to tell a guy to kill his baby and then yell "psych!" He also likes killing fully grown adults by turning them into pillars of salt for looking the wrong direction.

Faced with the prospect of allowing voters in each state to decide what to do about abortion – and not, as the Left has claimed, with the end of legalized abortion itself – the pro-abortion crowd, the media, and the Biden administration have gone to war with anyone who disagrees with them, including the Supreme Court.

We also want voters to decide what to do about abortion, but for themselves, not for other people. The only people who have "gone to war" here are those who think they should get to make that decision for other people just because they happen to live in the same state, everyone else is responding to the attack.

The Left is literally at war with America. This is no exaggeration. This war includes fire-bombing a family policy group in Wisconsin. A pro-abortion terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the attack, stating that "Wisconsin is the first flashpoint, but we are all over the U.S., and we will issue no further warnings."

In violation of federal law, abortion extremists are protesting outside the homes of Supreme Court justices. The Biden Administration has specifically encouraged these illegal acts, an arguably impeachable offense. Senate Democrat Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has also said he doesn’t have a problem with the protests. And the Department of Justice – perhaps too busy going after parents at school board meetings – has been totally silent.

Still, none of these people are our enemies, and we are not at war with them. "For we are not contending with flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places," teaches Paul in the book of Ephesians.

The rulers and powers of this present darkness are working hard to make sure legalized abortion remains the law of the land. We must respond by entering into this spiritual battle with faith and courage.

These people sure have a hard time figuring out if they are at war or not!

The letter then asks that supporters do five magic prayers to ensure that SCOTUS overturns Roe for sure.

1. We pray that the Supreme Court will overturn Roe v. Wade once and for all.

2. We pray for each of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices. We pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen their minds and their wills so that they will truly understand how precious each life is and vote in favor of reversing Roe v. Wade in the Dobbs case.

3. We pray, in particular, for Chief Justice John Roberts, that he will be filled with the wisdom, courage and prudence he needs to lead the court to a majority consensus to overturn Roe.

4. We pray that the Lord Jesus Christ will bind any evil spirits, powers and forces seeking to keep Roe in place and defeat their wicked strategies.

5. We pray for God the Father’s mercy and forgiveness over our country for the millions of lives lost and destroyed through abortion.

And then, after that, they want those supporters to give up something pleasant for three weeks.

We are also asking each of you to join us in making some sacrifice for the reversal of Roe v. Wade this year. Perhaps pause your digital TV subscription for a month or give up some pleasant food – ice cream, sweet tea, candy, etc. – as Daniel the prophet did as he prayed to God (Daniel 10:3). During this time of fasting, focus your prayers toward ending abortion.

Remember, this is war. In war, you have to make certain sacrifices. During World War II, people were forced to go without sugar, coffee and meat. That was for four years. This is for one month. Just pick one thing and sacrificially offer it up in prayer for God's mercy over our nation’s sin of abortion and for God to bring about the reversal of Roe v. Wade via the Dobbs decision.

5 prayer requests and 1 sacrifice. Unified in prayer across the country, God can heal our land from the blight of abortion, bring victory in this battle, and truly change our country for generations to come.

Let me get this straight. God is an all-powerful immortal deity who really, really, really hates abortion and is, in some capacity, involved in the creation of human babies. He once got a virgin pregnant with himself. But he can't just make sure that everyone who would get an abortion if they got pregnant does not get pregnant in the first place, while also denying some people who actually do want to get pregnant the ability to do so. And he could end abortion, which is one of the main things he hates outside of the people he made not being heterosexual, but he won't do it unless Sheila from Bismarck, North Dakota, doesn't eat Twinkies for a month or continue binge watching Dynasty? Is that how this all works?

I would have to think that if God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit were that upset about abortion, they would not need such bribes in order to prevent them or overturn Roe. Also it's not totally clear what that would even do for them. Is it like a Tinkerbell scenario we're talking here? They want to prevent abortions but they just can't unless enough people out there stop putting sugar in their tea? If that is the case, are they really all powerful?

This is all purely hypothetical since I don't believe in God, but I have to think that if I were an all-powerful immortal deity, I would be a tad confused by this entire arrangement.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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