Donate

'One or Two' Passengers Can Wreck Entire TSA, Apparently

News

You might think a nationwide workforce so well-trained in stealing iPods and loose change would be able to withstand a few "nah I don't want to get cancer" opt-outs, but that is not the case! The government's finest child-molesting force is so fragile and worthless that "just one or two recalcitrant passengers at an airport is all it takes to cause huge delays," according to the American Society of Travel Agents. Gosh, sounds like this country is screwed.


The TSA is in the midst of a full media blitz this week as it prepares (?) for millions of air travelers being faced with porno-scanners and aggressive ass-grabbing and vaginal probes for the first time. The Obama Administration's top airport security guy has "urged passengers angry over safety procedures not to boycott airport body scans," according to the AP, and an airline travel trade group is saying that basically one or two people choosing not to be sprayed with cancer waves is enough to cripple America's airports.

"Just one or two recalcitrant passengers at an airport is all it takes to cause huge delays," said Paul Ruden, a spokesman for the American Society of Travel Agents, which has warned its more than 8,000 members about delays resulting from the body-scanner boycott. "It doesn't take much to mess things up anyway — especially if someone purposely tries to mess it up."

Body scans take as little as 10 seconds, but people who decline the process must submit to a full pat-down, which takes much longer. That could cause a cascade of delays at dozens of major airports, including those in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Atlanta. nationwide security programs, "there is a continual process of refinement and adjustment to ensure that best practices are applied."

Ha ha, right. So when the rules are completely different from day to day and especially from airport to airport -- a baby bottle is Osama bin Laden at one screening line, coffee cups full of whisky and hand grenades are welcome at others -- that's just the "continual process of refinement and adjustment to ensure that best practices are applied."

Also, for the brown-nosers in the comments who want to encourage everyone to be Good Germans, it should be noted again that these porno-scanner machines aren't even used in Israeli airports, and that the peculiar idiocy of shuffling shoeless through a conga line of gropey security slobs is restricted to America. [Associated Press]

$
Donate with CC

Dame Peggington Noonington awakened in the New York Publick Librarie in a daze. She did not know what series of unfortunate events had led to this moment, but she vaguely remembered that last time this happened a passerby on 5th Avenue had transported her there, having found her on a stoop with eyes glazed over, muttering "Buk! Buk!" If we're being honest, she was choking on gin, but the well-meaning Good Samaritan took her for a woman craving classic literature, and Peggy was OK with allowing that illusion to stand.

As she stumbled toward the exit to summon her chauffeur -- Manuel, who was also her houseboy, who probably was responsible entirely for her current predicament, and would be subject to a talking-to about his derring-do as soon as Peggy's head stopped pounding -- she happened upon a display of new arrivals. "Buk! Buk!" she said. Swallowing hard, she grabbed a copy of Michelle Obama's book and went out onto the New York street without actually checking the book out.

Peggy arrived home safely, if a bit worse for the wear. She had been thinking about America's royal families a lot lately, especially the genteel women who serve as First Lady. She was particularly charmed by Melania Trump's show of wicked mischief last week, firing the deputy national security adviser without regret! Peggy remembered how fun it is to fire people and stuck a Post-it on her forehead to remind her to fire Manuel later, for leaving her destitute among the commoners at the librarie.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Congratulations to the Dear Leader on his flawless victory in court against the media dogs at the CNN cesspool of evil. Donald Trump is a champion of the people's right to civil discourse, and he will not hesitate to slap those who hurt the dignity of the Supreme Leadership. Take it from Ri Chun-hee Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

Today the court made clear that there is no absolute First Amendment right to access the White House. In response to the court, we will temporarily reinstate the reporter's hard pass. We will also further develop rules and processes to ensure fair and orderly press conferences in the future. There must be decorum at the White House.

Leave aside for a moment the screaming irony of the Pussgrab Administration lecturing the press on decorum. Literally none of what the Huckster said here is true. Judge Timothy Kelly ordered the White House Press Office to reinstate Jim Acosta's hard pass immediately on Fifth Amendment grounds. He didn't reach the First Amendment issues of press access because he didn't have to.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc