Only 42 More Days For Posts Full Of Whiny-Ass Trump Tweets, Aw NUTS!
We confess, we haven't been looking at Donald Trump's Twitter diarrhea much lately. It's soooooooo 2016-2020. Who's got time for things that have overstayed their welcome? Not nobody who matters. On Jan. 20, we're blocking the motherfucker. (Don't have to unfollow, because never followed, because not a big dumb.)
But we're always down to make fun of the stupidest human who ever was born, so we admit it cracked us up when we saw this tweet from El Stable Genius:
This was not my case as has been so incorrectly reported. The case that everyone has been waiting for is the State’… https://t.co/AvOciPl67M— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1607521176.0
"The case that everyone has been waiting for." He really typed that. And yes, he's talking about the hilariously stupid case filed by Texas GOP Attorney General Ken Paxton, which pretty much all real lawyers say is literally the stupidest thing the KRAKEN diaspora has filed so far. He would think that's the best one. That's how stupid he is. Stupid enough to think you can bleach coronavirus out of your lungs. Stupid enough to think he should brag incessantly about passing a dementia test. A lawsuit that really may have only been filed because the indicted-and-under-investigation Texas attorney general is probably looking to suck as much Trump ass as he possibly can before Trump is forklifted out of the White House, in hopes of so many pardons.
We will be INTERVENING in the Texas (plus many other states) case. This is the big one. Our Country needs a victory!— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1607521479.0
INTERVENING, you say? What, to somehow make it even dumber?
Also our country had a victory already, dipshit. A big one. It was when Joe Biden reached 270 electoral votes, a few days after the election, when enough ballots had been counted to show us who was the winner and who was the loser. (To be fair, we could really see which way it was going on Wednesday morning after the election, once states started counting mail-in ballots, which Republicans didn't use because Trump had spent months screaming that they were FRAUD11!1!1)
Quite frankly, our country has had victories pretty much every day in the last month, as stupid Trump lawsuits lose in court, and as every subsequent recount in every state that's done one (or more) of them has confirmed that all Joe Biden does is win, whereas Donald Trump is the same loser he was when he emerged from his mother's womb and disappointed the entire world.
There is massive evidence of widespread fraud in the four states (plus) mentioned in the Texas suit. Just look at a… https://t.co/YfDtvPResL— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1607524491.0
"This claim about election fraud is disputed," just like all Trump's claims are disputed, because he's a liar who makes up shit and/or believes whatever they tell him on One America News Network. Because again, he's that dumb.
Trump's tweets right there are part of a day-long meltdown, in case you were curious whether today might have been the first day of Trump's presidency where he decided to go to work. To which we say HAHA, verily, HAHA, forsooth, LOL!
Here is some more whining:
#OVERTURN— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1607528075.0
We will soon be learning about the word “courage”, and saving our Country. I received hundreds of thousands of lega… https://t.co/5BaWGjv77X— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1607527066.0
It gets dumber, y'all.
It's almost like they're not bellwethers anymore, because of how oh fuck it, we are not explaining things to that moron.
At 10:00 P.M. on Election Evening, we were at 97% win with the so-called “bookies”.— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1607537100.0
It's on brand for a person who thinks online polls at Breitbart are real polls to think the "bookies" are the ones who call the election.
Because again, moron.
Trump has made other whines today, but you don't care.
Savor this post, dear ones. In 42 days we'll write other blog posts, we guess, but none of them will be chronicles of the worst president in American history working out his brain and self-esteem issues on Twitter.
And for that, a grateful nation is GRATEFUL.
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Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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