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Relax, this one's only a museum. The other 6800 warheads may be a concern.


Kids, Yr Wonkette has to admit to feeling a little down yesterday after writing that post about how this is the third straight year of record-high global temperatures, which is not good for polar bears, coastal populations, or really anyone. But you know what? Sometimes a little factoid comes along that just takes your mind off such long-term concerns:

Enjoy your final Open Thread of the Obama administration. And perhaps of human history.

Nahh, we're kidding. We're sure we'll see you all tomorrow. On the Beach.

No, seriously, nothing to worry about. Let's Party!

Honestly, there's no reason to worry that the moment he finishes the Oath, Trump will say, "Hey, Mr. Chief Justice! Hold my beer and WATCH THIS!" For one thing, Trump doesn't drink.

[Kelly O'Donnell on Twitter / Smithsonian]
Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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4. MONEY.

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