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Oprah Narrowly Escaped The Taint!

News
  • Beloved Serbian leprechaun Rod Blagojevich went on Good Morning America instead of going to his corruption trial today, and talked about why Oprah would have made a good senator. [ABC News]
  • Barack Obama! Every day this guy issues more executive orders! This one will let the hippies in CA have the wondrously fuel-efficient cars they've been craving for years. [San Jose Mercury News]
  • A two-minute appeal for aid to Gaza will air on several British television stations, but not the BBC. This makes many BBC staffers very angry. [Guardian]
  • Yet another regional summit will convene in Africa to hammer out a power-sharing agreement in Zimbabwe. This process has been dragging on for almost literally a year, and Mugabe is still a dillweed. [Reuters]
  • A 14-year-old boy spent a whole day dressed as a cop, going around to traffic stops with an actual cop and generally doing things cops do, until he was caught. [Chicago Tribune]
  • Those Gazan children who are still alive went back to school today. [AHN]
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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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