The couple in happier timesJust a few months ago, Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey were such great friends that rumors flew about their torrid lesbian affair. But now that Barack needs Oprah to reel in the votes of bitter Indiana housewives, Oprah's suddenly so busy that, according to one media analyst, "it might be easier to rearrange George Bush's schedule than Oprah Winfrey's schedule." Is Oprah really busier than America's laziest president, or are more sinister forces at play?

Everybody knows that Oprah made Barack popular, and in turn Barack made Oprah a pariah among all the sad white ladies who never realized the billionaire media empress and Giver of Cars was also black. Oprah has spent months repairing this damage to her reputation. This is why she will not campaign for Obama and instead he has to settle for endorsements from a white elitist New Jerseyite who wrote songs about being blown up in Vietnam for Ronald Reagan.

O, No: Winfrey a no-show [Politico]


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