Donate

President Oprah? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.


Did you watch the Golden Globes on Sunday night? Of course you did, you are gay as hell. Seth Meyers, the sexxxiest host with the mostest, made a joke at the beginning about how he said in 2011 at the White House Correspondents' Dinner that Donald Trump would never be president, and now look what happened, therefore he needed to tell Oprah Winfrey SHE would never be president of America, OK? You get the joke he was saying?

After the joke, NBC, being silly, which should be obvious to anyone smarter than a stable genius, tweeted this:

Which made one million people lose their shit. Here is one of many tweets on the subject from Drudge:

Anyway, later, Winfrey was presented with the Cecil B. DeMille award, and proceeded to give a speech that BROKE THE FUCKING INTERNET. Not only was it beautiful and rousing and inspirational, some found it ... presidential. If you haven't watched it, please do:

Fabulous, right?

So of course now people are literally spending their time debating the merits of an Oprah candidacy for the 2020 election, and our response is OH PLEASE SHUT UP.

Look, we won't know if Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president. She says she doesn't, but maybe she does secretly want to in her heart, and if she wants to, that's fine, it's a free country (for now). If she does, we'll cross that bridge in 2019 when the primaries get going. THAT IS NEXT YEAR AND WE HAVE MIDTERMS TO WIN FIRST, OK?

And yeah yeah yeah, we've all learned the lesson of having a "businessman" be president, but it was a particularly shitty con-man failure of a businessman, and while we really really really would like NO MORE CELEBRITIES IN THE OVAL OFFICE, and to have a president with actual political experience in 2020, we also trust Oprah Winfrey knows how to read a book and doesn't have such a big ego that she wouldn't surround herself with ACTUAL experts and listen to them if she were to run and/or win. (Coincidentally, this was our primary personal justification for supporting Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton in 2008, despite his inexperience.)

And yeah, if Winfrey ran, we would also have to contend with how she foisted Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz on America, because fuck her anti-science "experts."

But it is JANUARY 8, 2018, and WHAT DID WE JUST SAY ABOUT HOW WE HAVE MIDTERMS TO WIN THIS YEAR?

Can we just let this awesome, beautiful Oprah speech be an awesome, beautiful Oprah speech and let it go at that? YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

And that is what Wonkette has to say about that.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette is fully paid for by YOU! Please click here to pay Wonkette's salary.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC
Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please help, by making a donation of MONEY.

[Washington Post]

$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc