Donate

Oregon Man Under Arrest For Taking Typos Rather Too Seriously, Also Terrorism

News

Oregon van owner Leonard Burdek is a passionate man! For example, he loves his mother tongue so much that he will defend its honor no matter the cost, which in this case was the price of a pressure cooker, maybe some wires, and whatever they do to you in Salem, Oregon, when you’re charged with disorderly conduct… which seems kinda light for a guy who walked into his local Teacher Standards and Practices Commission office with what he claimed was a homemade pressure cooker bomb saying he had planned to blow up their sign because the “d” was missing from the word “and” in the Commission’s name, but the darn bomb didn’t work! And, insult to injury, nor was Burdek too pleased with the misspellings in the bomb-building instructions he downloaded from the internet! Misspellings on the internet?! Free Leonard Burdek, his mission endures! But here’s the REALLY important question: Is Burdek a right-wing or a left-wing terrorist?


The case for right-wing is straightforward enough: He’s a white dude. But other evidence points left: For one, he didn’t actually hurt anybody. Also, he cares about spelling. Third-wise, c’mon, look at the guy, he’s got a beard fer chrissakes! He’s practically a van-having Bill Ayers! Does Bill Ayres have a beard? No? Well that’s just because something impeach.

Now that that’s settled, are any of our commenters brave enough to do a search for “how to make a bomb out of a pressure cooker” and maybe try to find the perhaps hilariously misspelled instructions this guy was using? Yr Wonkette would do this, but we are probably already on Eric Holder’s shit list because ERIC HOLDER NEEDS TO GO etc. (However we do admire the Ayresian ‘stache.)

Lastly, the spelling-and-grammar angle here reminded us of Jared Loughner, the maniac who shot Gabby Giffords and a bunch of other people. He had a thing about grammar too, and was also too a left-wing terrorist according to the Stupidest Man on the Internet, remember that? Transcribed from his YouTube videos, just in case you were feeling too sane and happy this Friday afternoon:

If you're literate in English grammar then you know English grammar. You don't know English grammar. Thus, you're not literate in English grammar. Most of the teachers and students at Pima Community College are illiterate.

...

Secondly, my hope - is for you to be literate! If you're literate in English grammar, then you comprehend English grammar. The majority of people, who reside in District-8, are illiterate - hilarious. I don't control your English grammar structure, but you control your English grammar structure.

...

You don't allow the government to control your grammar structure, listener?

...

In conclusion, reading the second United States Constitution, I can't trust the current government because of the ratifications: The government is implying mind control and brainwash on the people by controlling grammar.

So that's fucked up.

[Statesman Journal]

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc