In a surprise decision that has stunned fans of Carribean falafel-fucking around the world, the Thomas More Law Center recently cancelled its "Battle For American Values Fun Cruise" with Bill O'Reilly. Surprisingly, "only a fraction of the tickets available" had been sold. Still, we count this as a big win for the Pundit of the Carribean. Why? Because it means O'Reilly's fans really are average Americans who can't afford to blow $1500 just to watch him oil up his pallid man-tits with a special blend of tahini sauce and Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay Coconut Rum. Too bad though. We were totally signed up for that symposium on "How to Get Away From That Guy Who Keeps Checking Out Your Wife's Ass While Trashing the ACLU."
S.S. O'Reilly Sinks Before Leaving Port [I Hate Bill O'Reilly]
O'Reilly Fantasy Finally Coming True? [Wonkette]
O'Reilly Cruise Cancellation Message [Media Matters]
