Tabs gif from your friend Martini Ambassador!

Attorney General Merrick Garland will have the Department of Justice investigate just how fucked up Louisville, Kentucky’s police practices are after Breonna Taylor was killed in her own home last year. (Washington Post)

The 2020 Census results are out and it’s not, well, terrible for Democrats but it’s not great, either. On the up side, it could’ve been worse. I know that sometimes sounds like the Democratic platform, but in this case, it’s true. (NPR)

New York would’ve held onto a House seat if state had counted just 89 more people. It’s a pity those models sharing that Tribeca studio were all out the day the census called. (New York Times)

Washington’s population grew 13.2 percent in the past decade, but that’s still not enough for an additional House seat. (Seattle Times)

Democratic House Rep. Tim Ryan from Ohio would make a good senator. Even if Robyn and I think his campaign launch ad resembles a car commercial.


Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney hasn’t ruled out a presidential run in 2024. Neither have I. We stand about as equal a shot at the GOP presidential nomination. (Politico)

The European Union is considering letting Americans cross its borders again. That’s a fair reward for getting rid of the one-term loser. (CNN)

A new political action committee has emerged that appears to support Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. It’s called Make America Florida. I’m going to avoid any obvious jokes here. (Florida Politics)

A sixth-grade boy from Plymouth, Minnesota, took the handgun from a drawer in his father's bedroom and brought it to school. Fortunately, the gun was retrieved and no one was injured. But the terror remained. That’s a mighty fine well-regulated militia we’ve got. (Star Tribune)

Unemployment in Oregon remains at six percent, but there's still a labor shortage in the state. Some frustrated employers think potential applicants are just shiftless and enjoying that sweet stimmy, but state economists point to more obvious reasons, like how the current drive-through public school schedule that requires more parents to stay at home. Also, COVID-19 exists. (The Oregonian)

"Saturday Night Live" thought it was a great idea to have aspiring Bond villain Elon Musk host the show on May 8. This isn’t a corporate retreat. I’d prefer a competent actor or comedian. Sarah Cooper still hasn’t hosted yet. (Decider)

Rep. Doug Collins announced Monday that he's not running for Senate or governor or any other elected office next year. Nothing of value was lost. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

During Sunday’s Academy Awards, the great Glenn Close gave a shout out to “Da Butt” by E.U., so I’ll leave you with the group’s featured performance on Salt-N-Pepa’s “Shake Your Thang.” (Variety)

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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