401 Comments
User's avatar
5G Krieger is 5G's avatar

Low blow. What did the plague ever do to you?

phoenix00's avatar

My sister's doggo pooping inside the house: NATIONAL EMERGYMy nephew taking a spill during PE: NATIONAL EMERGYA softball beaning my niece in the face: NATIONAL EMERGYand so on and so forth

phoenix00's avatar

Will? About a minute?

phoenix00's avatar

Trump's White House quietly released the results of his annual medical exam, and they say Trump is officially "obese" and suffers from high cholesterol. The official exam was noticeably scant on details compared to previous presidents. Maybe a McDonald's buffet wasn't such a great idea after all?

All those hamberders and covfefe, and how can we ever forget this?

https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext...

Emil Muz's avatar

Virginia Slims Extra

Poly_Ester's avatar

Here's how Conley got the OOO (Oval Office Occupant) to weigh 243. Before the OOO came into the examination room, Melon was asked to stand on the scale -- the scale was tared (reset to ZERO) with Melon standing on it. donnie came in and stood on il, hence 243 lb. Either that or his weight is actually 243 Kg.

Rooster Cogburn105's avatar

“We hunted the Hot Pocket”

Querolous's avatar

Zeno's paradox meets Xenophobia.

Querolous's avatar

Five-headed sharknadoes. with obligatory head mounted lasers.

Querolous's avatar

I would say Joe DiMaggio libel, but he was an asshole also too.

Jamie Stewart's avatar

And he'll still be staggeringly, appallingly... eldrichly wealthy, with more piling up every minute.

Khavrinen's avatar

"Thanks for Everything."

Jamie Stewart's avatar

Woodbines soaked in rum.