Discover more from Wonkette
I Saw A Man Who Danced With His Wife. Wonkagenda For Wed., June 5, 2019
Democrats getting shit done while Trump says dumb shit across the pond. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! I'm back on the campaign trail again today, so the Wonkagenda will be a little shorter than usual this morning. Thingsmighthave changed a smidge by the time you read this, so make sure you're checking the front page for all the latest stuff. Anyway, here's some of the things wemaybe talking about!
Trump sat down with Piers Morgan and said some crazy bullshit for a change. He whines about not serving in Vietnam, comes godawfully close to praising Hitler and the Nazis (on the anniversary of D-Day), bitches about disagreeing with Prince Charles on
global warmingclimate change, bitches about John McCain (again), enters a Frank Sinatra Impersonator Contest, and loses.
'I never knew you had that kind of sensibility!' @piersmorgan gives @POTUS a gift Winston Churchill himself would… https: //t.co/u3h3aGY1Oc
— Good Morning Britain (@Good Morning Britain) 1559719988.0
Senate Republicans are not about to let Trump start ANOTHER trade war. (Maybe.) With Trump across the pond, Senate Republicans spent their lunch break bitching out the White House lawyers attempting to concoct a laughably bogus legal basis for Trump's new trade war with Mexico. Following the meeting, Texas Republican Sen. John Cornyn said, "We're holding a gun to our own heads," as other Senators commented that the proposal would screw swing states in America's breadbasket as well as Texas ranchers. Meanwhile, Mexican officials have no idea what the fuck Trump thinks he's doing, so they're using an unorthodox toolkit, like just literally tweeting at Trump, in the hopes of getting him to calm the fuck down.
The House, led by Democrats, voted 237 to 187 to pass the American Dream and Promise Act of 2019. The bill would grant Dreamers 10 years of legal residency status and, after jumping through a few hoops like going to college, joining the military, or holding down a steady job, grant them green cards. It's unlikely to go anywhere in the Senate because Republicans and Mitch McConnell hate children and decency. Roll Call notes that nine Democrats from swing districts, almost all of them freshmen, voted against the bill . It's sad that they are cowards (or worse, actually believe it).
AFTER Mr. Bonesaw murdered journalist Jamal Khashoggi, the Trump administration rubber-stamped the transfer of nuclear energy info to the Saudis. The administration has been desperate to sell the Saudis nuclear energy tech from the US, and shitloads of weapons, but a bipartisan group of senators is pushing back and threatening to send the administration a nastygram toreallylet them know how angry they are.
In a rare showing of bipartisan paranoia, Democrats and Republicans are railing against the FBI and TSA's use of facial recognition technology.
The House Armed Services Committee moved to kneecap Trump's desire for low-yield nuclear warheads with a draft bill that would flat out ban them, as well as bar the withdrawal of the Open Skies Treaty.
Sen. Elizabeth Warren dropped two new plans yesterday, one dealing with climate change, and one dealing with economic patriotism . At the heart of Warren's climate change plan is a $1.5 trillion investment in renewables. Her economic plan would guide the invisible hand of the free market to help Americans instead of multinational corporations who only care about profit margins.
Here's Rep. Rashida Tlaib grilling the FBI assistant director of Counterterrorism about what they plan to do about all the white supremacist assholes who are throwing death threats around to members of Congress (and killing regular Americans on the regular, too also). [ Clip ]
Rep. Tlaib gets emotional gets emotional while questioning about domestic terrorism (C-SPAN) www.youtube.com
Some alt-right edgelords in Boston are SO JEALOUS the LGBQT community gets an entire month to run around the streets in fabulous costumes and cod pieces that they're planning their own "Straight Pride" Parade this summer. The idea comes from the same gun fetishists who couldn't even turn out 100 people for two previous alt-right rallies.
A former Broward County sheriff's deputy has been arrested and charged with multiple counts of child neglect and negligence for hiding while children were being slaughtered during Parkland massacre last year. An investigation by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement found the deputy "refused to investigate the source of the gun shots" and "directed other law enforcement who arrived on scene to remain 500 feet away from the building."
A Fort Worth teacher has been shitcanned for attempting to snitch on undocumented students in public tweets to Donald Trump. Georgia Clark thought she was sending Trump private messages about how the school was being "taken over" by "illegal students," but she was actually sending that crap to more people than Sean Spicer's social media password.
SURPRISE! Texas Republican Gov. Gregg Abbott was behind the state's voter purge! His office is denying its involvement in the scheme to delete brown people off the states voter rolls, but new emails reveal the governor's office leaning on various state agencies.
Drug manufacturer Pfizer might have discovered a drug that could help in curing Alzheimer's, but some bean counters tell WaPo it would have been a huge pain in the ass, and they ultimately wouldn't make (a lot) of money. Pfizer COULD publish some of their data to help other science bozos, but NOOOOOOOO!
KNIFE CRIME ISLAND. Some crazy lady tried to stab the Trump baby blimp in London, but she ended up stabbing herself. Remember: There are never any winners in a knife fight, just different degrees of losers.
Here's a mini doc on Pangolins, and how some folks in Nigeria are fighting Asia's illegal animal trade.
Nigerians Fight to Protect the World's Most Trafficked Mammal | National Geographic www.youtube.com
And here's your morning Nice Time: BABY GOATS!
Goat Baby Olympics! www.youtube.com
We're 100% ad-free and reader-supported, so consider buying us coffee, or get a subscription!