237 Comments

This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for shooting, one is for fun.

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Do wash the cucumber before insertion. Wash again thoroughly before chopping up for dainty sandwiches.

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You mean O Street.

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You may manually simulate the drapes, but not the carpet.

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Have you tried it for hysteria?

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William S. Burroughs guffaws in his grave.

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Thanks, Obama.

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Pre-wrapped seems redundant here.

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What part of Life, liberty, and the pursuit of previously-approved happiness do you libs not understand?

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Excellent! I've always wanted to be the bad girl outlaw living on the edge.

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The Snark Alliance

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I think a solid gold dildo would be a tad pretentious. Good for kegel practice, though.

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Bad Dragon has a selection of artificial butts and vajayjays.

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Ok, so I'm going to make a confession here; I installed a massaging shower head for literally one reason. I mean, it has all sorts of other benefits, like it converts in to a rain shower and stuff. . . . but, yeah, I love that fucker!

Also too, caution ladies and gentlemen; maple syrup in any orafices that do not include a tongue for tasting deliciousness is an invitation for yeast infection and all kinds of other nasties. Why does Cruz want to give us infections?! Cruz is pro-bacteria!

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I feel that this may be a tactic used by unhappy upperclass ladies who hate their ladies-who-lunch so called friends. I can see it now ; "that Tiffy is such a bitch! How dare she suggest my gown for the debutante ball was off fhe rack!! I can't wait to watch her eat my pussy cucumber sandwiches!"

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