10 Things You Should NEVER Do If You Visit Venice! Tabs, Fri., March 1, 2024

Well then I shan't! Morning news roundup!

Good morning, going to start with some real shit. No fighting.

Israeli tanks are shooting at everyone in Gaza now, firing on thousands and killing more than a hundred people in a crowd waiting for food (and possibly stampeding for it! because they are literally starving!). Regular readers know I’m a “blah blah right to self-defense” and “blah blah oh so a cease fire that only applies to Israel HUH?” person. It’s been months now of absolutely insane attacks on civilians — far beyond anything that could be considered a proportionate response — and this is the day Joe Biden needs to … I have no idea what Joe Biden needs to do, send in tanks to arrest Netanyahu? (It does not sound like Joe Biden is going to send in tanks to arrest Netanyahu. But it is time to figure out something, quick.) (CNN)

This is interesting! The White House has been declassifying intel to get ahead of global conflicts. And not just so Trump can hand secrets to Putin. (Time)

Sigh, the saga of Lauren Boebert’s son — who I might add is just as much a grown up as any child of God in the city who should rot in jail for ever and a day — gets worse :/ (Westword) John Fetterman points out you should be nicer. I mean, we all should, eh, whatever. (Daily Beast)

No seriously, Hunter Biden would like to know when we are going to impeach Jared Kushner and his father in law, please? (Sorry, the Hill) Oh, you’d rather read 228 pages of Matt Gaetz and James Comer wanking off in transcript form? I don’t blame you. (Hearing transcript House Oversight Committee)

Uh. Um. Hrm? I don’t think Texas AG Ken Paxton can demand the names and social security numbers and doctors and medications of every trans person PFLAG has ever met? Um? WHAT THE FUUUUUCK? (Erin in the Morning)

Just … (Abortion, Every Day)

Marco Rubio is going to stroke out. Former US ambassador to Bolivia admits to spying for Cuba for decades whoopslol! (AP)

Yes, I agree, a 100-year sentence would be grotesque. And no, Sam Bankman-Fried isn’t “already being punished.” These fucking people, man. (Ars Technica)

Well of course the machine selling you your M&Ms needs facial recognition, otherwise how will it know what M&Ms to sell you based on your age, weight, and race? (Futurism)

Cancer vaccines? I’ll take three! Or seven. Or how many you got? (CNN)

More health news! I am seriously dumber than I was just a few years ago, but I think it predates my small, mild, no-symptoms COVID. I believe it dates back to my perimenopause. When did you lose YOUR IQ points? (CIDRAP)

You want viral? Apparently there is a “viral unexpected red theory” and some interior designers are like duh obvs and other interior designers are REALLY ANGERBEAR ABOUT IT, YOU STOP BEING SO SIMPLISTIC WITH YOUR TIKKITY TOKS like seriously, lady? Calm down. (Elle Decor)

Your friend Cakes We Like on a departed culinary (and as a person) hero: Dave Myers, one half of the nontoxically masculine Hairy Bikers.

I will not be bad to Venice! (Fodor’s)

(Only if you want to!)

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