15 Family Friendly Maldives Resorts That Have Kids Clubs! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 9, 2024

What, you're not googling that all day too? Morning news roundup!

Happy lunar new year from your friend Martini Glambassador!

Brazil arresting all the Bolsonar … ers … for their little attempted coup, also seizing the big man’s passport. That’s how you do it! (Reuters)

Tyrant Joe Biden’s tyrant FBI arresting patriots just for trying to do a race war and kill a whole bunch of feds at the border. How is that even fair? — Daily Beast / NBC News

This Allentown, PA Moms 4 Liberty chapter disbanded due to lack of people giving a shit about their performative cruelty, but I’m most taken with this one quote:

“Between homeschooling and working two jobs, it’s just a lot,” she said. “And I guess there wasn’t as much willingness to do the work that’s required to propel the movement forward.”

When is she homeschooling them between her two jobs? Midnight to 1:30 a.m.? Maybe she should consider putting them in a school. — Daily Beast

This very mean woman is on Utah’s state board of education, and she’s just … she’s just fucking awful and I don’t even want to talk about it. (Salt Lake Tribune)

You mean they lied about how much school vouchers would cost? I am, as they say, shook. In Arizona alone:

Voucher proponents suggested that paying for private school tuition would cost taxpayers $65 million a year; but as it stands, the program is on track to cost roughly 15 times that. All told, Arizona taxpayers are likely to spend close to a billion dollars reimbursing the cost of tuition and luxury expenses—including ski resort passes, pianos, and theme park tickets—for families whose children were never enrolled in the public schools.

— The Nation

Florida AG running to state supreme court to please please please keep the pro-abortion referendum off the ballot, otherwise Florida voters would vote to keep abortion legal in Florida, and that is not allowed! — Yahoo!

Zippy and enjoyable excerpt at New York mag from Kara Swisher’s new Silicon Valley Burn Book. (Wonkette commission link aqui, not afraid to be servicey!)

The DINKS (Double Income No Kids) are living it up. — Business Insider

So, anybody got $15 or $20,000 to send a very nice family (grrrrr kids) to Maldives? (Momtrotter)

This one — “‘what the whole hep world would be doing on Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war’” — I could swing! “It Was $38 To Stay At Vegas’s Circus Circus. Is It As Gross As Its Reputation?” Children, grab your go bags! — SF Gate

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Wonkette: FEED THE CHILDREN. (Our children.)