Maybe the heavy dark eyeshadow thing with the super unnatural eyebrows is a nod to the 80s? That period is King Fool's favorite decade, and as a former makeup artist, it really was the look. Come to think of it, "pussy bows" (what a name!) were also a thing back then.
Bow Sleeves, explanation of: It's the "Chinchilla Effect". In the caged environment of a fur farm, (or, say, MAGA), one chinchilla (or MAGA dame) will, for reasons known only to itself (herself), start to chew its own fur (sport ever-larger sleeve bows), thereby rendering its pelt (herself) useless for furrier (fashion) purposes. It is possible that this is the chinchilla's (though not the MAGA dame's) thinking, but if so, he/she (the chinchilla) is badly mistaken. The hide merchant's solution to chinchillian self-vandalism is to kill (and discard) the miscreant rodent because otherwise the other chinchillas will all start doing it too (Here's where we get back to the MAGA dames). Legal strictures being what they are, MAGA dames are generally exempt from summary liquidation in polite (civil) society, hence the spread of bow sleeves (and other bad fashion/life choices) among them. It's pretty obvious when you think about it...
For the most part all these people were once considered attractive and that's what really pathetic. They look like those folks whose faces turned into the horrible masks they wore from that not so great Ep from the Twilight Zone.
This might be the cruelest cut of all, next to whatever their plastic surgeons did.
I discovered something this year that works so well for me. I used to brush on brown eyeshadow with a tiny brush and inevitably tiny brown crumbs would land beneath my eyes. I used to blast them away with my blow dryer, but now I just wet the brush and no more crumblies.
As Dorothy Parker explained: Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes clean to the bone.
The snarky spirit of Dorothy Parker is alive and well here. Were she still with us in the flesh (and her flesh was quite delightful), she would be the Princess of All Wonketteers. Here's your bonus quote from the Divine Dorothy: Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Ta, Robyn. I'm glad you learned to smize from ANTM, and I'm with you on those bow sleeves. All the MAGA faces remind me of Carnival of Souls (in a very bad way) and the many Twilight Zone episodes it spawned. That aesthetic is necrotic and gangrenous; yes, I mean it stinks of death. Speaking of which, did you know that breast implants survive cremation? So weird.
My enduring thought since the fake boob craziness began...1000 years ahead to archeological digs discovering paired plastic disks. Sacred gifts for royalty?
"because we’re getting ready to talk about the MAGA year in aesthetics"
It doesn't really matter if a MAGAdroid can be considered attractive in physical appearance, when you're ugly on the inside it shows no matter how much makeup is used.
-----
"the facial equivalent of a Cybertruck — telling the world “I have enough money and power to not care about how I look as much as I want people to know that I am a complete asshole.”"
The Cybertruck is the perfect metaphor for MAGA, what little popularity it enjoyed is now confined to those who want to show their "patriotism" no matter how fallacious.
> " Tesla Cybertruck sales have completely tanked — falling by more than half in just a year. Tesla apparently sold about 5,400 Cybertrucks in the third quarter. That's still far too many, but it does represent a 62.6% drop from the same time last year" https://www.jalopnik.com/1996291/tesla-cybertruck-sales-disaster/
The drop is not industry-wide, just Elmo the Man-child's Cybertruck:
> "Other electric trucks haven’t fared as poorly as the Cybertruck. The Rivian R1T is up 13 percent this quarter year over year, while the Ford F-150 Lightning is up 39.7 percent, and GMC’s Hummer EV has increased sales 21.9 percent and Sierra EV by over 771 percent." https://www.theverge.com/news/798889/tesla-cybertruck-sales-decrease-q3-2025
As I said, the Cybertruck is a very fitting metaphor:
> "The proportion of Republicans who say they identify more with the Make America Great Again (MAGA) movement than the traditional Republican Party has declined, a new poll has shown.
According to polling by NBC News, the proportion of self-identified Republicans who identify with MAGA, a political movement associated with President Donald Trump [sic], has dropped by seven percentage points since April 2025." https://www.newsweek.com/republicans-identify-maga-poll-11211564
[NB: "At the same time, those who say they identify more with traditional Republicanism has increased by seven percentage points." ibid]
Maybe the heavy dark eyeshadow thing with the super unnatural eyebrows is a nod to the 80s? That period is King Fool's favorite decade, and as a former makeup artist, it really was the look. Come to think of it, "pussy bows" (what a name!) were also a thing back then.
How pissed was Vanky that Pammie Jo wore the same dress.
I didn't even know bow sleeves were a thing. My ignorance was happy.
Bow Sleeves, explanation of: It's the "Chinchilla Effect". In the caged environment of a fur farm, (or, say, MAGA), one chinchilla (or MAGA dame) will, for reasons known only to itself (herself), start to chew its own fur (sport ever-larger sleeve bows), thereby rendering its pelt (herself) useless for furrier (fashion) purposes. It is possible that this is the chinchilla's (though not the MAGA dame's) thinking, but if so, he/she (the chinchilla) is badly mistaken. The hide merchant's solution to chinchillian self-vandalism is to kill (and discard) the miscreant rodent because otherwise the other chinchillas will all start doing it too (Here's where we get back to the MAGA dames). Legal strictures being what they are, MAGA dames are generally exempt from summary liquidation in polite (civil) society, hence the spread of bow sleeves (and other bad fashion/life choices) among them. It's pretty obvious when you think about it...
The bow sleeve is to cover up the bruises.
For the most part all these people were once considered attractive and that's what really pathetic. They look like those folks whose faces turned into the horrible masks they wore from that not so great Ep from the Twilight Zone.
This might be the cruelest cut of all, next to whatever their plastic surgeons did.
I discovered something this year that works so well for me. I used to brush on brown eyeshadow with a tiny brush and inevitably tiny brown crumbs would land beneath my eyes. I used to blast them away with my blow dryer, but now I just wet the brush and no more crumblies.
I agree about the big sleeves with the bows.
In the immortal words of Harry S, Plinkett:
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU FACE?!”
"Why? Because I’m shallow and petty, that’s why."
Me too. Noem's lips look like Michelin tires.
As Dorothy Parker explained: Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes clean to the bone.
The snarky spirit of Dorothy Parker is alive and well here. Were she still with us in the flesh (and her flesh was quite delightful), she would be the Princess of All Wonketteers. Here's your bonus quote from the Divine Dorothy: Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
When my aunt reached her late 80s she said that it was a blessing because people didn't notice her anymore.
I get that. I am in my late 60s, haven't ever worn makeup or cared about fashion, and I too am happy that I can blend into the background.
I know now how wrong I was to think I was invisible all my life, but not unhappy to be invisible now that I'm old.
This is actually shows the transition of the various Mar-a-Lago Special plastic surgery.
And now I know what filler scars are! Yikes!
To a person these people loathe Black people but they definitely seem to be clamoring for lips they ridicule on us. Very, very curious.
Also the bow fashion? Maybe they associate the bows with innocent little girls?
"to ensure that the face and neck are two entirely different colors!"
Just her boss's.
Ta, Robyn. I'm glad you learned to smize from ANTM, and I'm with you on those bow sleeves. All the MAGA faces remind me of Carnival of Souls (in a very bad way) and the many Twilight Zone episodes it spawned. That aesthetic is necrotic and gangrenous; yes, I mean it stinks of death. Speaking of which, did you know that breast implants survive cremation? So weird.
My enduring thought since the fake boob craziness began...1000 years ahead to archeological digs discovering paired plastic disks. Sacred gifts for royalty?
Not happy with what God gave them? Sacrilege!!!
"because we’re getting ready to talk about the MAGA year in aesthetics"
It doesn't really matter if a MAGAdroid can be considered attractive in physical appearance, when you're ugly on the inside it shows no matter how much makeup is used.
-----
"the facial equivalent of a Cybertruck — telling the world “I have enough money and power to not care about how I look as much as I want people to know that I am a complete asshole.”"
The Cybertruck is the perfect metaphor for MAGA, what little popularity it enjoyed is now confined to those who want to show their "patriotism" no matter how fallacious.
> " Tesla Cybertruck sales have completely tanked — falling by more than half in just a year. Tesla apparently sold about 5,400 Cybertrucks in the third quarter. That's still far too many, but it does represent a 62.6% drop from the same time last year" https://www.jalopnik.com/1996291/tesla-cybertruck-sales-disaster/
The drop is not industry-wide, just Elmo the Man-child's Cybertruck:
> "Other electric trucks haven’t fared as poorly as the Cybertruck. The Rivian R1T is up 13 percent this quarter year over year, while the Ford F-150 Lightning is up 39.7 percent, and GMC’s Hummer EV has increased sales 21.9 percent and Sierra EV by over 771 percent." https://www.theverge.com/news/798889/tesla-cybertruck-sales-decrease-q3-2025
As I said, the Cybertruck is a very fitting metaphor:
> "Across the conservative spectrum, a steady drumbeat of commentators has warned that Trump’s [sic] coalition is weakened and that the party is headed for defeat in midterm elections in November." https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/12/15/trump-base-maga-midterm-voters/
--and--
> "The proportion of Republicans who say they identify more with the Make America Great Again (MAGA) movement than the traditional Republican Party has declined, a new poll has shown.
According to polling by NBC News, the proportion of self-identified Republicans who identify with MAGA, a political movement associated with President Donald Trump [sic], has dropped by seven percentage points since April 2025." https://www.newsweek.com/republicans-identify-maga-poll-11211564
[NB: "At the same time, those who say they identify more with traditional Republicanism has increased by seven percentage points." ibid]
fnord