If Elon Musk Buys Twitter, How Will Ukraine Tell Elon Musk To Eat Its Entire Ass?
TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, television, skywriting, Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Sea Captain Date ... wherever, really.
There will be much news to come over how Elon Musk is caving and suggesting he pay the original price he offered for the privilege of running Twitter into the ground and maybe ending social media in general, after all the normal people leave and it's just a bunch of pudgy white incel dudes sitting in a circle jerking off to sick memes. (What? Do you think all the regular people are going to join TikTok? Count us out.)
But we didn't want you to miss what the last couple of days have been like for Mr. Little Man Syndrome himself, as he's tried to offer his brain help to the nation of Ukraine, which did not ask for it.
Why did Ukraine's ambassador to Germany tell Elon Musk to eat his ass?
This is why Ukraine's ambassador to Germany told Elon Musk to eat his ass:
Elon Musk started tweeting what he thinks will ultimately be the outcomes of the genocidal war Russia started against Ukraine, all of which involve pulling Vladimir Putin's pants down and giving him great big blowies.
“@elonmusk Fuck off is my very diplomatic reply to you @elonmusk”
— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1664813743
Should they redo elections in the parts of Ukraine Putin is trying to steal, under UN supervision, which gives legitimacy to Putin stealing those lands in the first place? Should they just go ahead and make sure Putin gets to keep all his beachfront property in Crimea? Should Ukraine declare itself "neutral" and therefore unable to guarantee its security from Russia going forward?
"Fuck off" is exactly right.
Musk kept talking in his Twitter thread, though. He's under the impression he is an expert.
“This is highly likely to be the outcome in the end – just a question of how many die before then”
— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1664813743
Concern troll is very concerned. Also appears to be broadcasting from somewhere inside Vladimir Putin's colon.
Melnyk told him what the likely outcome is:
“@elonmusk The only outcome ist that now no Ukrainian will EVER buy your f…ing tesla crap. So good luck to you .@elonmusk”
— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1664813743
Indeed.
Musk's Twitter poll got the attention of Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who is pretty much the world's greatest hero right now:
“Which @elonmusk do you like more?”
— Володимир Зеленський (@Володимир Зеленський) 1664822729
But surprise, Dunning McKruger didn't know when to shut up, and he talked back to Zelenskyy:
“@ZelenskyyUa I still very much support Ukraine, but am convinced that massive escalation of the war will cause great harm to Ukraine and possibly the world.”
— Володимир Зеленський (@Володимир Зеленський) 1664822729
Oh my God, eat the entire free world's ass.
CNBC notes that it's interesting that Musk is doing this, considering how he sort of became a hero to Ukraine when he used his Starlink satellite system to get Ukraine back online after Russia invaded. But nobody ever accused Elon Musk of being savvy enough to know when to zip his wordhole.
Hey, guess who loved Elon Musk's "peace plan," though? Correct, it was the Kremlin! Putin's spokesmouth Dmitry Peskov said it was "very positive that such a person as Musk is looking for ways out of the situation around Ukraine." You know, the "situation" Vladimir Putin created when he started genociding Ukraine based on fantasies of restoring a Russian greatness that never existed and never will .
Any more lip from Elon?
“Did he really just ask Garry Kasparov what he's done besides tweet?”
— Justin Baragona (@Justin Baragona) 1664891150
Wait, who paid for all that Starlink? You know, in actuality? It wasn't just SpaceX.
Go fuck yourself, dude.
OPEN THREAD.
Follow Evan on Twitter right here!
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!
Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .