$30,000 Reward for Jenna Video

Jenna Bush always reminds us of Bigfoot. You know, shy, retiring, just wants to be able to butt-dance in public without a bunch of nosy tabloid voyeurs shoving colonscopes up her ass? Alas, Jenna is an undeniable, natural-born star, just like Bigfoot was. And her adoring public wants to see her butt-dancing. In fact, they're ready to pay thirty large, just for a grainy video clip.— GREG BEATO

 Jenna...Gone WILD [D.C. Socialites]