33 Merry Christmas Brunch Recipes! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 21, 2023
Morning news roundup!
I am flying in the sky to Los Angeles today and taking the whole day off so if there’s no tabs tomorrow, then DOK FORGOT.
Judging by this poll that says 54 percent of Americans agree with Colorado throwing Trump off the ballot, I’d hazard Joe Biden would win 54 percent of the vote. (Mediaite)
I agree with Amanda Marcotte: If Trump were thrown off enough ballots (it’s now on trial in Michigan!) that the Republicans chose another nominee, that nominee would have a hell of a lot better chance against Joe Biden than Trump does. But yes, the Constitution’s clear as fuck on the matter, and it does take Herculean effort to pretend it isn’t. Also too also, we may very well be sorry what we wished for. (I only disagree with her assumption that Ron DeSantis wouldn’t try to throw us all in jail too.) — Salon
Oh Jesus Christ, it’s the return of Purity Balls, House Speaker (?) Mike Johnson (??) edition, blargh ugh yechhhh. (ABC News)
SDNY investigators thought Rudy Giuliani wasn’t just trying to find dirt on Biden in Ukraine, he was trying to find dirty Ukrainian money for himself. — Gift link New York Times
This Bolts mag piece on LA jail deaths rising is about LA jail deaths rising, but I can’t get over the fact that disgraced former Los Angeles Sheriff Alex Villanueva is running for the board of supervisors after getting CRUSHED in his sheriff reelection race because that dude — who tricked us all that he’d be a progressive police reformer by saying “I will be a progressive police reformer” — fucking sucks.
Robyn wrote about this already, but it bears repeating: The lie about how much “shrink” is being lost to roving Mad Max gangs is a lie. Michael Hiltzik breaks it all down. — LA Times
Gen Z looking for nice big houses moving to some real shithole states (and Vermont and Maine). (Green Builder Media)
I too also would not like a 10-day silent meditation retreat, or as we say here in my house: Fuck that noise. (Fodor’s)
From the comments: One hour of cockatoos solving puzzles.
33 merry Christmas brunch recipes? Absolutely not. Christmas morning is Champagne and strawberries and bagels and lox, and has been for the past 26 years since I had the most brilliant idea in the world. — Food and Wine
New Year’s Day brunch, on the other hand, is other stuff. Be there or do not! You’re your boss! New Year’s Day, noon to 3 p.m., Detroit, Michigan. May you bring a dish to share? Only if you would love to! Email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com to let me know you are coming and get my address, header: BLOODY MARY BLOODY MARY.
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Dog rest ye, merry gentlemen (and ladies!). All the source info here, credit due for providing today’s header cuteness: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/puppies-in-christmas-hats
Why does no one halfway decent ever run for sheriff? It's always a choice between two greater evils.