An NRA So Puny You Can Drown It In The Bathtub

Thoughts and prayers for the NRA, y'all.

It sucks when people lose their jobs. It sucks that non-profits, which employ hundreds of thousands of people, are going to get screwed in the coronavirus recession. But if this nightmare finally takes out the NRA, well, that part is totally fine. 

 Newsweek was first to report that the National Rifle Association will be laying off staff and imposing across the board pay cuts this week. CEO Wayne LaPierre emailed the board on Monday afternoon to announce that, in response to the "extraordinary challenges resulting from COVID-19," hourly workers will be shifted to 4-day weeks, and all 800-plus employees will be taking a 20 percent pay reduction. Better hope the Trumpers don't find out the NRA isn't using the preferred racist virus nomenclature, or Poppy Trump will be pissed!

Yes, even Ol' Wayne will be feeling the pinch, as attorneys for the gun lobby confirm that "salary adjustments announced today apply to all levels of the organization." Good thing the NRA's top brass gave themselves a 41 percent pay raise in 2018, so they had a little something socked away for a rainy day. In fact, LaPierre got a 57 percent boost that year, bringing his salary to $2.15 million. Sadly, he didn't get to quarantine himself in that $5 million fake French chateau outside Dallas after the purchase — with donated cash, obviously — fell through, but we're sure he's keeping himself safe and stylish somewhere.

The gun lobby would like to paint its current financial woes as caused entirely by the pandemic, which forced it to cancel all events this spring, including the annual meeting in April. In fact the organization has been bleeding cash since 2016, when it closed out the year $45.8 million in the red. It seems to have righted the ship somewhat by 2018, cutting the deficit to $2.7 million, but in 2019 it spent $97,787 in legal fees every single day of the first quarter. And that was before it descended into trench warfare with its longtime media firm cum parasite devouring its host, Ackerman McQueen.

Remember that crazyass NRA annual meetingfive hundred years agolast April where Oliver North tried to J'ACCUSE Wayne LaPierre, only to limp out of there with a knife, and a lawsuit, stuck in his back? Those palace coups don't come cheap.

"We believe these actions will favorably position the Association leading up to the November election. We will continue to lead the fight to protect our Second Amendment, the First Amendment, and all our constitutional freedoms for years to come," LaPierre told the board. LOL, it's all business as usual at the gun manufacturers lobby. They'll just proceed as normal, convincing a bunch of jackasses that having an arsenal at home makes them safer, despite overwhelming statistical evidence that it does not.  

Or maybe they won't. The tide was already turning against the NRA, with weekly stories about self-dealing , enrichment, and turf wars among the leadership. Backed by the Parkland kids and Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense, gun control advocates have begun to have real legislative success, most recently in Virginia . So maybe this horrible pandemic disaster will finally put the NRA out of our misery.

"I offer NRA leaders my thoughts and prayers as our organization prepares to outspend and outwork them yet again this election season," Moms Demand founder Shannon Watts said yesterday. AMEN, SISTER.

[ Newsweek / WaPo / NPR ]

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