A List Of People Who Should Not Be Tried For Treason
Today we learned that all reporters including Jerome Corsi should be executed for treason in honor of Free Speech Week, because Orwell. This led to discussion in the secret Wonket chatcave about trying for treason those who made the pickles on McDonald's anusburgers too bland, but then we realized it would be much easier and quicker to determine those who should not be tried for treason, because we are lazy and it's ever so much shorter. Presented for your edification and terror, the Compleat Liste of Those Who Maye Live.
Ann Coulter
Frank Luntz
Gallagher
Donald Trump
Neil Bush
Antonin Scalia
Clint Eastwood, duh
Stacey Dash
Andrew Breitbart's corpse
The poor Republican chair that was forced against its will to stand in for the Kenyan UsurperSorry, but that chair should be totally lynchedWhoever invented mayonnaise
Janeane Turner
Whoever it was who elbowed Obama in the face during basketball
Martin Luther King, who was a Republican and who would totally agree with Grover Norquist now
Ronald Reagan's corpse, but not Ronald Reagan's actual record, which shall be put to sleep in a respectful ceremony
Every rape baby
Megyn Kelly
Charles krathammer, who will be elevated on a golden wheelchair.
Everyone else, please report for your firing squad, because Freedom.
The end.
Yeah, I'm sure the Romney campaign are currently in a state of mostly trying to convince themselves they can replicate their late surges from ad blitzes in primary states. They can't, for three main reasons. First, their primary ad blitzes were overwhelmingly negative, and they worked because votes didn't really know Mitt's opponents - Newt was the only one who'd previously been nationally known, and even he'd spent a long time out of the spotlight; the President, on the other hand, is someone about whom people have already made up their minds. Second, Mitt had orders of magnitude more money than his opponents and was able to completely dominate the airwaves; Barack has lots of campaign money too and is able to come much closer to matching expenditures. Third, viewer fatigue - I'm a political junkie in NY and even I am sick of the political ads (fuck you very much, Linda McMahon); I'd hate to think what it's like in, say, Ohio - I suspect by now it's almost impossible to produce an ad that any significant number of people are going to pay attention to in swing states.
i really have nothing except this: <a href="http://www.theonion.com/art..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.theonion.com/articles/killing-wheelcha...">http://www.theonion.com/art...