A Royal Wedding Of Blacktacularness!
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle leave St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle after their wedding. Saturday May 19, 2018. Andrew Matthews/Pool via REUTERS
It’s the day that many have been waiting for: The Royal Wedding. This time we have a Princely Ginger marrying a BLACK WOMAN, who is also an AMERICAN, at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor, England. Oh, Meghan Markle! Why are you so lovely today? Prince Harry is a lucky man and we enjoyed how the lights of love twinkled in his eyes.
Black people today are all up in our feelings as we watched one of our own join the vaunted ranks of the British Aristocracy. Even though most of us have no idea how the nobility pyramid works, we are certainly proud to have our own damn Duchess. Yes, I said she is a Duchess, though now and forever, she will be a Queen to us.
Not only did we have a black woman marrying a fucking PRINCE, we also got to see what we consider to be Black American Royalty (can we trademark that?), showed up to the wedding. Oprah was there, Serena Williams was there, Idris Elba (yes, we know he’s a Brit) was there, and did we mention that there was a black Bishop? A black choir? That “This Little Light of Mine” was sung as the couple left the chapel? Oh, indeed. They also sung a beautiful and moving rendition of “Stand by Me” that brought some America across the pond.
Watch the breathtaking rendition of "Stand by me" performed at the #RoyalWedding by Karen Gibson and The Kingdom Choir. pic.twitter.com/diZpeoDxbM
— Vox (@voxdotcom) May 19, 2018
We won’t tell you how many times we cried, because that was not us crying about the “Power of Love”, nor were we crying when our eight year old asked us “Are those tears of joy?!?” You were crying. You cried a lot. We understand. It was a very beautiful ceremony. You can watch the entire thing again here.
Bishop Michael Curry struck chords on themes of love, grace, and God, and he stole the show for a time with his powerful and energetic sermon that was reminiscent of MLK and the struggles to find commonality among humanity. Prince Harry was obviously moved by this as much as we were, his tears were our tears, and his Princess is our Princess. Out of all of the sermons givers on this day, Bishop Michael Curry stood out as he stealthily bridged the gap between the understated reverence of the Brits and the passionate worship of Black Americans. If you have been to black church as many hundreds of times as Wonderbitch, you’d see what we mean.
Black faces and black culture were prominent at this Royal Wedding in a way that has never been seen in history. The mother of the bride, Doris Ragland, was the iconic unbothered black woman as she confidently stood next to the Prince of Wales like SHE could be the Queen if she felt like it. Meghan herself was too fresh, too beautiful, and oh my, didn’t she glow and shine like the sun? Yes she did. As she was walked down the aisle by Prince Charles, all eyes were on her, and omg, her dress was exactly what we imagined a Princess would wear on her wedding day. And that veil was lit! We are only peeved that she looked that gorgeous with that tiny bit of little makeup. Not fair. We would hate on you but since all black people are related, we won't. We love our cousin Meghan. Get it, girl!
The fusion of African American heritage and age old British elegance will hopefully help increase cultural awareness and open eyes to the beauty of black culture without appropriating it in unhealthy ways. What we are now waiting for are OUR Royal British Babies like we waited for Beyoncé and Jay-Z to have our Royal American Babies. To the BEDDING!!! (Do they still do that?) So, please hurry up! We are already thinking of names for little princes and princesses. (Can we name her Princess? Or too redundant? Ok, nevermind.) And believe us, they will be some interesting ass names. We are creative as fuck.
And now, Wonkers, your open thread!
Click to donate to Wonkette and we promise not to spend it on Royal Wedding commemorative plates.
You can follow Wonderbitch on Twitter for horrible garbage hot takes and yell at her repeatedly.
Speaking of which, Dumpo's been awfully silent about offering his congratulations. It must sting that he was publicly dis-invited to the wedding. This sort of thing really gnaws at Dunning-Kruger victims with a severe inferiority complex.
You'll call when it does? Asking for a friend.