A Weight Problem In the White House, and Norm Coleman Is Evicted by His Slumlord

For years now, various people have been begging to take photographs of Arizona's State FlowerMEGHAN McCAINposing in her girdle. Well now there's encouraging news for horticulture enthusiasts around the globe! Meghan says she'd totally do it, except poorPAPA JOHNwould probably crash another plane intoVIETNAM, if he ever found out.So that's at least a polite maybe! And speaking of beautiful cactus flowers, Meghan wantsHILARY DUFFto play her in a highly anticipatedMAJOR MOTION PICTUREbased on the pop-up book Megan still needs to write ....

Like the rest of America,BARACK OBAMA'sPortuguese water buffaloBO SAMA BIN LADENhas a serious eating disorder and can't stop snacking onMICHELLE OBAMA'S TOESbetween meals. And now not even toes can curb Bo's insatiable appetite and he's resorted to binging on clothing, like the time he devouredDAVID AXELROD'sclip-on tie made of 100% Rayon. Will Bo seek council from the wisePRO-ANA INTERNET FORUMSor will he continue down this dark path ofPORTUGUESE WATER DOG BULIMIA? ....

Minnesota's preeminent authority on voter intentAL FRANKENhas won! Something. And now he is looking for an office in DC, preferably in a neighborhood with good public schools ....

GOSSIP UPDATE!Professional loserNORM COLEMANis being evicted from his office, for reasons that are still unclear. And now he has 48 hours to evacuate his collection of adjustable office chairs, the ones with the roller legs. Reliable gossipmongers say the new tenant will have no need for "chairs" as the office will be redecorated in a traditionalMINNESOTA OPIUM DEN STYLE, complete with over-sized Turkish pillows for sitting upon. Don't worry about it, Norm. There's always blogging!

Riley Waggaman's WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com