37 Comments
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maadbeacon's avatar

I'm originally from a town thirty minutes away from Peoria and that's the first thing to come to my mind.

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maadbeacon's avatar

Too old to be a twink.

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maadbeacon's avatar

Duhhh

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a trimble's avatar

I love your writing and absolutely funny sarcasm. You rock! Thank you :-)

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Gigi's avatar

I would say that I feel sorry for him, but Schock's a control freak with a thirst for power. He's closeted because: a) he's self-loathing and, 2) he knew that he could screw more money out of the system as a Republican. "You know what Taylor Swift said, 'Haters gonna hate.'" We don't hate the fact that you're gay Aaron, we hate the fact that your a slimy, sleazy dirtbag.

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Jared's avatar

You know that line in Glee where Kurt gets told that he has a "gay face"? MhmmmUpdate: Just found out he went to a Katy Perry concert. Can he come out of the closet already. Update 2: Just saw a vine of him quoting from a Taylor Swift song

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Bill Bates's avatar

Sarcastic read it is...but really you wrote an amazing article... I don't know why people just love to show off for their money and do not go for quality work... well to be really honest I found commercial photographer las vegas way more better than this one!!

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Mistress Thing's avatar

Evan, you are my hero! This article is sublime!! What a douche this queen is!

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diogenez's avatar

I dunno - Congressman Schock seems like a complete twat.

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Vienna Woods's avatar

He seems straight...

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Vienna Woods's avatar

Evangel College, Springfield MO. Of course. His closet is a good Christian one.

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TundraGrifter's avatar

Bangalore or BangALot?

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TundraGrifter's avatar

Shock is so gay he only throws down half a Shocker.

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TundraGrifter's avatar

"Personal photographer" is a job luggage lifters (see previous Wonkette post) aspire to become.

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malsperanza's avatar

There is, but it usually refers to a middle-aged middle manager with a beer belly fantasizing about buying a '68 Mustang Fastback.

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SullivanSt's avatar

Have you checked the cast of "My Husband's Not Gay" to see if he's in it? I <strong>100%</strong> get that vibe.

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